Page 41 of Love is a Dance Step
Lauren didn’t try to convince her she was wrong. She only let her cry. When her tears dried, Lola straightened her shoulders, determined not to dwell on her decision. It was done. Drew wouldn’t come back around. “You should get back to the kids, Lauren. I’m going to head home.”
Lauren gave her a smile before opening the door and leaving Lola to gather herself.
She didn’t turn on any music on the drive home, letting the silence become the salt in her wound, a self-inflicted wound.
By the time she pulled up outside her house, she was ready to crawl into bed with a plate of whatever her mom had left for dinner.
She walked inside and dropped her purse near the front door, trying to sniff out whatever her mom had made, but the familiar scents weren’t there.
Instead, her mom was. “Mama? What are you doing here?” Fridays were her longer days.
Her mom smiled. “I thought I needed a break.” She cupped Lola’s cheek. “You look tired, Mija. Come. I ordered us Chinese food.”
“Chinese food?” She laughed. Her mom never ordered out, always preferring to cook everything they ate. But, sure enough, white cartons littered the table. “You order for an army, Mama?”
Her mom handed her a plate. “Si. The army of Lola Ramirez.” She pointed a fork at the boxes. “I know how much you like to eat. Did I not get enough?”
Lola kissed her mom on the cheek. “No, this is perfect.” She missed her mom when she wasn’t there, but understood why she worked so much. It didn’t mean she liked it.
Sitting at the table across from her mom felt surreal. Normally, she ate dinner at the kitchen counter with Asher or in her bed watching Netflix or doing homework. Not for the first time, she wondered what their lives would have been like if her father had stuck around. Would they have been more of a family?
She hated that thought because her mom tried, but sometimes it wasn’t enough.
“You’re quiet tonight, Lola.” Her mom’s soft Spanish words held an undercurrent of worry.
Lola answered her in English. “I tried something today, Mama. Something exciting, something that scared me.” Terrified, more like.
Her mom smiled. “You were always brave, Mija.”
Lola shook her head as she tried to hold the tears back. “I failed.” For anyone else, it might have been considered a success. Hundreds of dancers auditioned today, and Drew only wanted her. But still, she hadn’t been able to make herself take the leap. Her mom called her brave, but she felt like a coward.
Her mom reached across the table and took her hand. “You are only a failure if you do not try.”
She didn’t get it. Lola auditioned, sure, but she could have changed her life, she could have chased her dream. In that, shedidn’ttry.
But maybe, just maybe saying no had been the brave thing. Giving up an opportunity in order to prevent future damage to herself. If she was going to hurt no matter what, she’d rather it be because of the dancing and not Drew.
She pictured him standing before her, so close, too close. If he hadn’t tried to kiss her, would she have taken the position?
She changed the subject, asking her mom about her day instead and trying to push Drew to the back of her mind.
It almost worked until later when she checked her phone for the first time all afternoon to find messages from Nora.
Nora:Good luck.
Nora:How did it go?
Nora:Call me, please.
Nora:You said no?!
Nora: I need to know you’re okay.
Nora:Lo…
She didn’t know if she was relieved or disappointed to see nothing from Drew. He promised he’d leave her alone, and she couldn’t help but worry he was a man who kept his word.
13
