Page 71 of Love is a Harmony
I’ll see you on Monday.
His decision. Melanie couldn’t imagine Noah saying the words. She had to talk to him, but what would she say?
Nothing that could change his mind.
A chasm opened inside her at the thought of never working with Noah again, of having no excuse to see him, to be near him.
Had Drew been right? Was there this energy between them all along?
No. She remembered every scandal, every time he was caught in a compromising position with a woman. That was the Noah Clarke she’d known all these years.
Deciding to torture herself a moment longer, she opened her text messages. Most were from her dad, but Dax’s name appeared. He rarely contacted any of the Rockstars Anonymous crew unless they got in touch first. Curiosity got the better of her.
Dax:Hey, Mel. Stella is staying at my place tonight, and she insisted on me sending you a picture. She said to tell you she misses you.
A picture followed of Stella and Dax making funny faces. A laugh bubbled out of Melanie. Dax Nelson, the serious, stoic musician was apparently just as vulnerable as the rest of them to a little girl.
That face, it made everything better. She missed her too.
Too many voices filled Melanie’s mind, too much turmoil. There was only one thing that calmed it. She slid from the bed and pulled out the box of letters to Justin. Inside was a notebook and pen. She set the notebook on her lap and clicked the pen, wanting everything to become clear as it always did when she talked to her husband.
Justin,
That was as far as she got before images from France invaded her safe space. Her time with Justin was sacred. Writing the letters meant many things over the years. Therapy. Grief. She shared her joys, few as they were, and her accomplishments. Every part of her was in these letters. And maybe that was the problem.
Piper’s voice rang in her mind.“Maybe the bare walls of your office were telling you something. It isn’t their lifelessness that bothered you. It’s your life you haven’t decorated, your life that needs more of you in it.”
She stared down at the one word she’d written.
Justin,
Her pen hovered above the page, ready to give him more of herself. Instead, when the pen met the paper, she only managed two words.
I’m sorry.
Putting the notebook back in the box, she stowed it in her closet where it belonged.
Your life needs more of you in it.
She couldn’t keep giving everything to the letters and nothing to the rest of her world.
Scrambling from the bed, she pulled on her running shoes, not caring how out of place they looked with her pant suit.
As she grabbed her keys, she understood what Piper meant. This wasn’t about the bare walls of her office, not really. One couldn’t decorate a life with paintings.
They decorated it with people.
* * *
This seemed like a much better idea when Melanie sat in the sanctuary of her own apartment, safe from rejection, safe from feeling all the things she wasn’t ready for.
As she sat in her car looking up at the looming dark beach house before her, she didn’t understand what brought her here. She only knew what it couldn’t be, what she wouldn’t let it become.
She and Noah needed each other, but that was where it had to end.
With a sigh, she opened her door and stepped out, wishing she’d at least showered after getting back from Chicago. Running fingers through her hair, she closed her eyes, willing the courage to the surface.
For ten years, she’d lived on the outside of friendships, never letting them get close. The only person she allowed herself to rely on was her dad.
