Page 98 of Love is a Harmony
He was. He’d barely slept in days and knew he’d have to face his parents soon. Sighing, he pushed a hand through his hair.
“How about I take care of Stella? Ava is staying here until the service as well, so she’s here for anything the girl needs. What you need now is rest.”
“You’re right.” He crouched down in front of Stella. “Are you okay with Nan for a while?”
She nodded before wrapping her arms around him. “I love you, Noah.”
Tears welled in his eyes, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Always, Stell Bell.”
He pulled away and stood.
“Nan, be good for Stella.” He already knew Stella would be good for her.
Nan shoved him. “Go.”
He trudged toward the spiral staircase, passing a few familiar servants and giving them nods of acknowledgement. Others were strangers to him. Noah had always been more comfortable with the servants than his own parents, but right now he needed to be alone.
He reached the suite of rooms that had once belonged to both him and Carson. Two bedrooms, a sitting room, and a bathroom. Perfect for boys who’d been each other’s best friends, who’d never thought they’d leave each other.
The last time Noah stood in this doorway was days before he’d learned of Carson’s fate. Then, he’d still had hope he’d see him again.
Now, he had hope for nothing.
He walked through the sitting room that once held oversized bean bag chairs and gaming systems. Now, his mother had transformed it into a formal sitting room with uncomfortable high-backed chairs and a tea cart.
He could hardly breathe until he reached his bedroom and shut the door behind him. His breaths came out in gasps, and all the memories closed in on him at once.
It was too much.
Anger welled up in him. He hadn’t let himself hate his brother or rage at him for the choices that led them here.
Because once the anger started, he feared it would never go away.
Yet, now, it bubbled to the surface, giving life to his tired limbs.
A cry escaped his lips as he lunged forward, ripping the blankets off his queen bed and throwing them against the wall. They landed in an unsatisfying soundless heap.
It wasn’t enough.
Noah swept an arm across the top of his dresser, sending the contents crashing to the floor. Glass picture frames shattered. A single trophy snapped off its base.
And it didn’t make anything better.
The hole ripping open in Noah’s chest didn’t fill with the destruction, it only widened further.
Deeper.
Noah cursed as he stepped on a piece of glass, but he didn’t stop until he collapsed onto the bed. For months, he’d had to make himself feel better, to tell himself he was okay. For Stella. For Melanie.
But now, he couldn’t do it anymore.
Noah Clarke, man beloved by millions, was broken.
And Carson would be ashamed of him.
* * *
A soft knock on Noah’s door woke him from a fitful sleep. He lifted his head and reached for his phone to check the time. It was after midnight which meant it was early evening in L.A. There were a number of missed calls and text messages, but he didn’t have the energy for any of them.
