Page 34 of Always a Roommate
I caught it mid-air, grateful for the distraction Tanner always provided. Lowering myself to the empty lounger, I couldn’t meet Shane’s gaze.
Both boys sat in swim trunks with beach towels wrapped around them for warmth. But still, too much skin. Tanner’s didn’t bother me. He was Tanner, after all.
But when I snuck a glance at Shane… I couldn’t sneak glances at Shane. That was clear.
If I did, I’d remember how he looked when we got the door shut. Teenage me would come back with a vengeance and start getting ideas.
Luckily, Tanner knew how to break an awkward silence. “Let’s play a game.”
I took a bite of chocolate and didn’t respond.
Shane lifted one brow. “Sure, we almost just died, so let’s play some dumb game.”
“It’s better than sitting around here staring weirdly at each other.”
He had a point. I lowered the candy. “Okay, what game? Too bad you don’t have a bottle of whiskey or something. Then, it could be a real game.”
Tanner laughed. “What a very Rae thing to say. Your sarcasm warms me on cold hurricane nights.”
I shifted in my wetsuit, trying to stretch it out. How anyone dove or surfed in these, I had no idea.
Tanner leaned back and crossed his arms. “Let’s do a secret sharing.”
“A secret sharing?” Was this a middle school sleepover?
He nodded. “We each have to say things few people know about us to see who can shock the others.”
“I don’t have any secrets,” I bristled.
“Everyone has secrets.” This time, it was Shane, his voice a low rumble.
I turned the flashlight on him. “You’re on board with this?”
He shrugged. “However Tanner wants to pass the time. I have nothing to hide.”
Why did I very much doubt that? I studied him, realizing maybe he was the smart one, willing to play along with his brother but planning to keep it superficial. Shane wouldn’t be sharing anything with us that had any depth.
“Okay,” I said simply.
“Perfect.” Tanner clapped his hands together. “Rae Rae, you first.”
“Of course.” I sighed, trying to think of anything I could possibly say. “I sort of love coffee, like… a lot.” I cringed, knowing they’d ask why I always refused it. But it was the first thing I could think of.
Neither of them responded until Tanner said, “Oh, we’re just waiting for the story. There is a story, right?”
“My mom.” I leaned my head back, unable to look at them. The entire Kelly family knew the story of my mom, who’d left when I was a kid. “I don’t have many memories of her, but she always smelled like coffee. She lived on the stuff, and it wafted off her. Sometimes, when I’m feeling really sorry for myself, I’ll binge-drink it until I can feel the caffeine buzzing in my veins. Most of the time, I try to avoid it.”
They were both quiet for a long moment, and it was a sad kind of quiet, like the storm raging outside wasn’t nearly as potent as the one inside me.
And now, they knew it.
Even the booming thunder didn’t break our little game.
Shane cleared his throat, saving me. Somehow, he knew I didn’t want a response to that. “I’m starting to learn I can’t help every kid I want to, and it’s killing me.”
I knew exactly who he was thinking of. Trevor. Where was he on a night like this?
Shane’s voice continued through the dark. “Sometimes, I wonder if I got into the wrong business. Teachers don’t actually have the impact I’d always imagined. If we aren’t allowed to help a kid outside of school, what good are we, really?”
