Page 37 of Always a Roommate
She didn’t need to ask what I meant. “Tanner’s game said we couldn’t lie, right?”
She really didn’t believe she’d ever fall in love. “Why?”
“Why?”
“Do I have to ask again? You said you aren’t meant to fall in love. I guess I don’t understand how you know that.”
She thought for a moment. “I’m not really sure. I’ve had relationships, long-term ones I thought could possibly end in marriage. But even when I saw myself spending my life with someone, I didn’t feel it.”
“It?”
“You know, this irrepressible feeling. This knowledge that I had to be with that one person or I was going to fall apart. I never wanted to make the grand gesture, wasn’t prepared to make a fool of myself. If they left me, I always knew I’d never go on the chase. I don’t know if I have it in me.”
Before I could stop myself, I found myself sharing the one thing not even my family knew. “I was engaged.”
In the dark, I could feel her piercing eyes, but she let me continue.
I blew out a breath. “Today was actually supposed to be the one-year anniversary of our wedding.”
“Was it the woman you lived with for a while?”
I nodded before realizing she couldn’t see me. “Diana.”
“The teacher I met?” There was surprise in her voice. “She was very pretty.”
“I wasn’t the only one who thought so.” I sighed. “She cheated on me and that was the end.”
“But…”
“When I think back on it, I think my pride was bruised more than anything. Listening to you talk about what love should be like, Diana and I were just comfortable. I loved her, but it wasn’t some big thing. I’m not even sure that exists.”
“Oh, it does.” She sounded like she was smiling. “I see it all the time when I’m working with couples on their weddings. Look at Lola and Drew. There are no two people more suited for each other. That’s how I know it’s out there, even if I can’t feel it myself. People like them… they’re the lucky ones.”
Or the unlucky ones. But I didn’t say that. She didn’t need my cynicism ruining her view on the world. I wanted to see things through her eyes, to watch a pair like that and not imagine their lives down the road when their love wore off.
I wasn’t sure why I was this way. I was raised by parents who’d been in love and married for forty years now. If that didn’t put the faith in me, nothing would. But if I didn’t believe for me, I could for her. I didn’t know why that was so important to me.
“Rae, one day, you’re going to find someone who loves you like you deserve. I just know it.” I regretted the words almost as soon as I said them. They were too personal, too unlike me.
But she didn’t respond, and I knew she’d drifted into sleep.
15
RAE
A high-pitched shriek jolted me from my sleep. My neck was bent awkwardly on the lounger, and the first thing I saw was both Tanner and Shane asleep.
As much as I wanted to study Shane, I had to find out what the noise had been.
The steady drumming of the rain and the howling of the wind was gone now, but the storage room was still dim without lights.
I stumbled toward the door and pushed it open, immediately shielding my eyes from the blinding sunlight.
The store was a wreck. The water had receded, but everything was wet, the merchandise ruined. The wood over the window had held, and a bolt of pride went through me.
I saw her coming, but before I could brace myself, Finley barreled into me, making me stumble back to catch her. “We’ve been worried all night.”
I looked behind her to find her parents, my dad, Knox, and Johnny.
