Page 45 of Always a Chance
Oil crackled and popped as it got up to heat, and Dad stepped up to the plate. This was the only part of cooking he could actually do well. Frying.
Johnny prepared the salad as I stood next to my dad, watching him drop the breaded chicken in, a contented smile on his face. The man worked too much, and I doubted he got much time to just enjoy himself. Certainly not with me.
He met my gaze, shifting away immediately. It wasn’t perfect, but this was a start.
When the chicken was done, we let it dry before chopping it up and dumping it into the salad with the poppy seed dressing. By the time we all sat down at the table, I realized I’d never asked Johnny to stay. Dad hadn’t asked me to eat dinner with them. It was all just assumed, like it once had been many nights a week.
Dinner was mostly a quiet affair, but it wasn’t uncomfortable this time. I looked up from my salad, catching Johnny’s eye. Heat rushed to my cheeks, and I glanced away. Yet, I could still feel his gaze burning into me, and I knew if I turned my head just the slightest bit, I wouldn’t be able to look away from him.
For a decade now, I’d lived my life in fear. Fear of the water, fear of going home. Fear that all I did was hurt the people I cared about. The truth was, none of this could last. I needed to do my job and get back to New York.
Johnny and I cleaned up from dinner as Dad helped Gianna into bed. We didn’t talk, but not because we had nothing to say to each other, only because it didn’t need to be said. Today was perfect, a surprise in every way. I felt eighteen again and on the verge of something great. But every time I considered what that could be, I saw everything falling apart.
My sister almost dying. The kiss that didn’t mean what I wanted it to. Leaving.
What if the past predicted the future? Not with my sister. I’d never let her be hurt like that again. But the rest of it?
Johnny and I walked side by side out onto the front porch. A hanging light bathed the dark wood in its glow. I expected Johnny to head toward his BMW, but instead, he sat on the porch swing and waited for me to do the same.
Our shoulders bumped as we rocked, and our thighs pressed together in the tight space. “Is it just me or did this used to be a lot bigger?”
Johnny laughed low and deep. “That’s called no longer having teenage bodies.”
“Are you calling me large, Mr. Kelly?”
His dimple indented when he smiled. “Never. You’re perfect.”
I looked away, hiding my face from the light. “Don’t say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I hate you.”
He sighed. “Tali.”
“I have to hate you, Johnny. For my own sanity. Because if I don’t…” I’d hate myself.
He didn’t ask me to complete what I was trying to say. Instead, he lifted a finger to my chin and turned my face. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Don’t—”
“I’m not lying to you. I’d never lie to you.” He was closer now, only a breath away.
I closed my eyes. “Please don’t do this.” I could feel the warmth of his breath on my lips.
“Why not?”
My eyes opened, connecting with his. “Because it will never be us, Johnny.” We didn’t have a chance then and we didn’t now.
“It could be.”
“No.” I put a hand on his chest and gently pushed him away. “One good day doesn’t make up for the last ten years. I know our distance is my fault, but there were reasons for it, and those didn’t just go away.”
His eyes shuttered, and he blew out a frustrated breath. “You’re saying you don’t even want to try.”
I drew in a deep lungful of cool evening air, knowing this was where I hurt him again. “No. I don’t. I’m here for a job, to interview Trinity. Please let me do it.”
A beat of silence passed before Johnny got to his feet. “That’s fair.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
