Page 47 of Always a Chance
Aidan threw a piece of popcorn in his mouth and shrugged. “Write about it.” It was his stock phrase, always telling me to write about the things that hurt, the ones that brought me joy. Normally, it annoyed me, but this time, he was right. I needed to get it down.
I didn’t say goodbye before marching to my room and throwing myself into the chair at my desk. Powering my computer up, I tapped my fingers against the keyboard.
When that blinking cursor that had haunted me for weeks finally appeared, I pushed away the ghosts and let my hands fly. For the first time in so long, I couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
It was like Talia’s presence was the inspiration I was looking for, whether she needed me or not.
By the time I finished my third chapter of the night, I was spent. My publisher would finally be happy with these pages. I knew it. I closed the lid of my computer but wasn’t ready to go to sleep.
Instead, I kneeled on the floor to pull a plastic storage bin out from under my bed. Riffling through it, I found what I was looking for.
It was untitled. I’d figured that would come in time. The book starred a young man willing to sacrifice all the planets to save his best friend. My agent hadn’t wanted to touch it because, apparently, that willingness made him quite unlikeable, but I disagreed.
Most stories featured characters who would sacrifice themselves for the greater good, but I’d always wanted one where they’d burn everything down for the one they loved.
I settled on my bed, sinking into the plush, blue-striped comforter. Flipping open the page, I smiled as I caught sight of the bad handwriting in the margins. Notes from the first person to read my work.
I wasn’t sure why I’d kept this copy when all the edits were on my computer. Something hadn’t let me throw it away.
This is ridiculous. It’s a multi-planet story. No way his favorite ice cream is vanilla.
Back then, Talia’s comments were what kept me writing after this book.
This is a fantastic line. Who wrote it for you?
Always throwing shade, but I’d loved that about her.
How is it a boy like you can write such a nice character? Did you have to study hard?
I’d never been a nice guy when it came to dating. I wouldn’t sugarcoat that. Talia knew exactly who I was in high school. It’s why we stayed just friends for so long. She had said she’d rather be my friend than be the next girl I hurt.
And I’d hurt her anyway in a roundabout way. It hadn’t been intentional, but that night, graduation night, if I hadn’t been so insistent, maybe she wouldn’t have almost lost her sister.
Flipping through the book was like going back in time to when things were simpler, easier. All I’d needed were my two best friends by my side. Now, I still had Aidan, but it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t in love with him.
I closed my eyes, trying to get that feeling out of my mind. There wasn’t a time in my memory when I didn’t love Talia, though there were times I didn’t recognize it for what it was.
A soft knocking on my door came before it opened and Angelina stuck her head in. “Hey.”
“Hi.” I sat up, hiding the manuscript under my pillow. “What’s up?” Why was she here?
She walked in and shut the door behind her. “Aidan told me Talia is back in town.”
Freaking small towns. Every woman I’d dated here at least knew of Talia Hillson and the accident.
“She’s leaving soon.”
Angelina nodded, perching on the corner of my desk. “It was her, wasn’t it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“When we dated.” She offered me a small smile. “I always knew I wasn’t the girl you truly wanted. There’s this feeling of being with you, Johnny. A kind of loneliness that comes from knowing you aren’t truly in it.”
I looked up, meeting her gaze. “I made you lonely?”
“Only because it was so obvious every girl you dated was only a placeholder for the one you were waiting for.”
Guilt gnawed at me. “I’m sorry, Ang. I truly never wanted to hurt you.”
