Page 62 of Always a Chance
“I’m sorry.” The words were so soft I almost missed them.
“Sorry for what? That you’ve been seeing someone in New York? Don’t be. That you didn’t tell me?”
“All of it. I’m sorry for all of it.”
A lump lodged in my throat, but I kept my eyes hard, cold. It was time I protected myself from all the hurt Talia had caused and continued to cause. “It’s fine. I’m just now realizing I don’t know you at all.”
Her jaw tightened, and she shoved her hands into my chest, forcing me back. “Yeah? Do you want to know why you know nothing of my life? Because you don’t want to. You only want to see me as the small-town, teenage girl next door, the one trailing after you and Aidan. That isn’t me anymore, Johnny.”
“I never said it was.”
“You look at me like some perfect and infallible girl, even after everything I’ve done to you. Do you know how unfair that is to me? I’m a mess. And yes, Barrett has been the one holding me together. Does that make you happy?”
I could never be happy that she was a mess, but the idiot that I was, I couldn’t get those words out. Instead, I leaned toward her, dropping my voice. “You should have told me about him.”
“I wanted to.” Another tear raced down her cheek. “I wanted to tell you everything, but I have spent so many years trying to keep you out of my head that I don’t know how to let you in.”
“Maybe you should have tried harder,” I bit out, on a roll now. “I’ll make it easier. None of this happened. You don’t have to think about me, about this week. Forget it all and go back to your big-city life with that boyfriend of yours.” I needed to get away before I kept going and let her know how I really felt.
Hurt. Angry. The old wounds from ten years ago ripped right open again. This time, I was smart enough to head for my car, ignoring both Talia and Gianna calling my name.
It was time to close the book on me and Talia for good.
29
TALIA
I shoved clothes into my bag, only stopping to wipe tears from my eyes when my vision blurred. Why hadn’t I just told him everything?
Barrett sat on the corner of my bed. “I’m sorry if my coming here messed things up for you.”
It wasn’t his fault, and having him here right now helped. I stopped packing and sat next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. “This would have happened regardless of your presence. Johnny and I… we don’t work. I knew that ten years ago, just like I do now.”
He set his chin on top of my head. “What did he say when you told him about us?”
I shrugged, not answering him, not wanting to admit Johnny hadn’t let me get the words out. That Barrett and I were placeholders for each other. We kept each other sane in an ever-moving city, being each other’s family when we had none nearby.
He looked down at me, his lips tugging into a frown. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”
I sat up. “There wasn’t exactly the right moment in between his ranting.”
“Tal…” Barrett sighed. “The ranting is understandable. The guy l—”
“Don’t you dare say it.” I couldn’t get past everything Johnny had said.Go back to your big-city life.“It was just a mistake, one I knew better than to make. He will never be who I need him to be.”
“Your standards are too high.” He shook his head.
“No.” I stood to finish packing. “I just want him to fight for me. He didn’t ask the questions.”
“What questions?”
“How long we’ve been together. If I love you. He didn’t ask me to choose him.”
“Would you have allowed yourself to do that?” Barrett folded his arms over his chest.
“I don’t know.” The truth was, Barrett wasn’t the only thing standing in our way. If he was, there’d be no choice at all. “My life is in New York.”
“A life you kind of hate.”
