Page 52 of Don't Forget Me
You injured…
The words faded from his mind as a symphony played inside him, his heart hammering against his breastbone, trying to break free, to tell Nick this was a mistake.
He almost stopped, almost agreed with everything in him that wanted him to reverse direction, to listen to the fear thrumming in his bones.
And then, he heard her.
“It’s okay,” she said, her voice soft yet strong. “It’s okay to be afraid.”
No one had ever told him that before, not even ghost Stephen. It was okay to be afraid. It didn’t make him weak or damaged.
It just wasn’t okay to let the fear become him.
“You can do this, Nick. I believe in you.”
Had anyone other than Stephen believed in him before? Not believed in his acting skills or his ability to draw fans to a movie but in him.
He stepped down onto a deeper rung, and the water reached up his thighs.
Images swirled in his mind. Stephen doing flips off the dock. Stephen leaving in the boat one morning.
Stephen not returning.
It was too much, and yet, not enough.
“When I died, did you stop loving me?”
“Don’t go back to your world the same man who left it.”
“Get in the water. It’s the first step.”
His foot stretched down looking for the next rung, but there wasn’t one. He clutched the ladder, not wanting to release the last thing keeping him from being at the mercy of the lake.
When a hand touched his back, he realized it wasn’t the last thing.
He’d never know what truly happened to cause Stephen to drown, but here, now, the thought took up less space in his mind, the fear fading away.
With a kick, he pushed away from the ladder, letting his legs float to the surface. His body knew what to do on instinct, every move he made, every reaction. It was instilled into him from years spent visiting the lake with Stephen, years that should mean more than the one moment that went wrong.
“You did it.” Liz’s arms shot into the air like he’d just scored the winning touchdown of the Super Bowl, her lips stretching into a grin he knew she felt with every part of her.
Because that was who she was. Her smiles weren’t fake. She didn’t use them to get what she wanted.
They were an expression of her joy and nothing else.
Before her lips could fall, he swam toward her, pulling her into a kiss, their wet bodies clinging together. In that moment, it felt like nothing could tear them apart.
“I did it,” he breathed against her lips. Stephen would have been proud of him, but as much as Nick missed him, he didn’t need that validation this time, because he was proud of himself.
He’d have to face what he did, the people in the real world he hurt, and he would. He’d never forget any of it, but he refused to believe it was who he was.
18
ELIZABETH
Was there such a thing as the perfect day?
If anyone asked Elizabeth before what it would entail, she’d have said something about cooking the perfect meal, simple but also fancy, and having everyone rave about the food. She’d mention something about the day being a cancer-talk-free day, a treatment-free day, one where she could sit outside and read a book or go to the beach.
