Page 34 of Don't Regret Me
“Oh, wow, this is going to be harder than I thought.” She went on to explain a game of passing cards mixed with one of throwing burritos. It was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard, but he wasn’t leaving now. Not when there was so much he wanted to know about this family, about his connection to them.
They started slowly, but as Nick grew used to the game, the card passing quickened. Evelyn was the first to lay down a set before picking up new cards. “Duel!” Owen yelled, laying three dueling cards and reaching for a burrito. “I choose Nick.” Before Nick could grab the second burrito, Owen’s slapped him upside the head.
Evelyn cackled. “He won!” She high fived her brother.
The game went on like that for the better part of an hour, an hour filled with more laughter than Nick could ever remember filling his home. This was what childhood was supposed to be like. Kids were meant to be loved, cherished.
And he’d been ignored.
But he wasn’t the only one. Excusing himself for a moment, Nick went out onto the front porch and tried to wipe the memories from his mind. He lost an entire year of his life, but it wasn’t the right year. His phone sat heavy in his pocket, a reminder of the responsibilities he left behind.
With a reluctant sigh, he pulled it free, staring at the dark screen while he worked up the courage to call the person who truly needed to hear from him. Whatever Sherrie had done, however she treated him, he liked to believe they’d been happy once.
But maybe that was another lapse of memory.
He unlocked his phone and navigated to her name, tapping his finger against it. The phone rang three times before voicemail picked up.
“Hello, you’ve reached Sherrie. If you have this number, I guess you can leave a message. If you reached me by mistake, don’t bother me again.”
She was a gem.
When the beep told him to begin, he drew in a breath. “Hey, Sher. It’s me. I just… wanted to check in on you. You don’t have to call me back. I know you probably don’t want to. Bye.”
When he hung up, there was no sense of relief. No more peace than he’d had before. He looked to the stars to try to see what Stephen had seen, but to him, they looked like a mass of chaos. No rhyme or reason to them. No sense to be made or lessons to be learned.
The door opened behind him, but he didn’t turn. “Everything okay out here?” Elizabeth stepped up beside him, following his gaze.
“Just thinking.”
“The kids can be a little overwhelming to those who aren’t used to them.”
He turned to her, shaking his head. “No. Absolutely not. They’re amazing.”
“I know they ask a lot of questions, press where it hurts the most, but I’ve never wanted to take the curiosity out of them.”
“You’re a good mother.” He’d known it from the first moment he met Evelyn. The woman who raised those twins had to be spectacular.
“I try, but it’s hard sometimes. They’ve been through a lot.”
“The hospital?”
She nodded, hugging her arms across her chest. “Cancer. I’ve been in remission for a while now, but that memory lives in the back of our minds like?—”
“An awareness of pain.”
“Yes, exactly.” She offered him an understanding smile. “They know it could happen again and what the family will go through if it does.”
“That’s why they’re so protective of you.”
“We’re protective of each other. Their father… Corey. He’s never been a part of their lives, not really. It’s always just been the four of us. My dad, the kids, and me. Nothing has been easy, but I wouldn’t change our lives for anything.”
What would it feel like to have a kind of love where even the pain wasn’t enough to tear it all down? Nick had never known such a feeling. He spent his younger years just trying to survive. As he got older, that survival had little to do with hunger or having a roof over his head. From the time he booked his first movie, money was never an issue. But survival wasn’t only about that.
Getting through his brother’s death. Living in a toxic culture that only cared about the mistakes he made. His wife’s betrayal. The accident.
“They’re lucky to have you.”
She shook her head. “I’m the lucky one. I was recently in an accident, and I didn’t wake up for a while. I… went somewhere. I’m not sure I’d have woken up if I didn’t have them to come back to. Or maybe I’d have become a different person when I did.” She shrugged. “Have you ever loved anyone so much it physically hurts to be separated from them?”
