Page 40 of Don't Regret Me
The words “we should talk” would go down in infamy like other such sentiments. It’s not you, it’s me. She’s just a friend. I need to find myself.
All phrases with a deeper meaning no one actually wanted to voice. Not fully lies, but not complete truths either.
“We should talk,” really meant, “I need to talk, and it’s something you won’t want to hear.”
Liz looked up at Nick, knowing she’d prepared for this, aware of the possibility it could all go horribly wrong. He didn’t have the same feelings she did, which was understandable considering their romance played out differently in each of their eyes.
To him, she was a woman he couldn’t stay away from because of their unspoken connection, but he couldn’t explain why.
To her, he was a man who’d already broken her once. But he’d also fallen in love with her. Not the kind of temporary love so many experienced, that she’d had with others before him. Those relationships hurt when they ended, but the pain faded.
Nick was a part of her, a wound that would never heal.
“Let’s go for a walk.” She slipped her hand into his.
He looked at the sky. “Now?”
“Yes..”
“Walk it is.”
They started down the sidewalk, neither speaking, both breathing in the silence. This time, the quiet wasn’t comforting to Liz. It was a rock sitting in her stomach, a suffocating fog.
“I talked to my agent before coming here,” he finally said.
She sensed he needed to talk, so she didn’t respond.
“Stephanie,” he breathed. “Sherrie’s baby… she named her Stephanie.”
The shock had Liz pulling away from him, unable to touch him when he talked about Sherrie or her baby. Yet, she couldn’t help feeling for him. “You wish she was yours, don’t you?”
Waiting nine months to meet a child was an excruciating and exhilarating time. One of preparation, of growing love.
“I still feel like she is.” His words were no more than a whisper, but they cut straight through Liz, right to her heart.
“Do you… need to go to her?” She held her breath, waiting for him to say yes, to say he couldn’t stay in Gulf City a moment longer. And how could she blame him? As a parent, she knew what a world-changing thing it was. She’d never imagined loving anyone as much as she loved her kids.
After a long pause, he shook his head. “I can’t. Community service.” He scrubbed a hand across his face. “I don’t think she’d want me to see the baby anyway. And what claim do I have? I didn’t father her. If I could, I’d wring Franklin’s neck until he agreed to go to her, but I can’t force him to do what I couldn’t.”
“And what was that?”
“Love Sherrie.”
He looked so tortured in that moment Liz couldn’t help stepping closer and wrapping both arms around his waist. Sherrie scared her. They still didn’t have proof, but she knew the woman had something to do with the accident. And yet, she couldn’t help feeling for her.
Nick’s arms came around her. “Why do I feel like I can say anything to you?” he whispered into her hair. “We still hardly know each other, but when I’m with you, I feel safe.”
Safe. She smiled against his shirt. He didn’t mean physically, that was obvious. She couldn’t protect him from the evils of the world. But there were other kinds of ways to feel safe. From judgment. From hurting. He could let himself shine through, and she’d never hold any of it against him.
Lifting on her toes, she pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. “Because you are.”
He kissed her back for only a moment before ripping himself from her and turning away.
A fat drop of rain landed on her cheek, but she ignored it as more fell around her. “Nick.”
His back was tense, his head bowed. When he finally faced her again, there was a weary look in his eyes.
“I came here tonight to tell you this won’t work.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. The rain came more furiously now, soaking into her hair, her clothes. But all she saw was him.
