Page 50 of Don't Regret Me
He rolled over to watch Stephanie sleep. After leaving Liz’s house, he gratefully accepted everything Bentley picked up for her, but he still didn’t have a crib. The hopeful part of him waited up most of the night for Sherrie to return. He’d tried calling over and over.
But the rational sliver of his brain, the one who knew he’d said all the wrong things to Liz, also knew what Sherrie had truly done. Abandoned her daughter. Left. Wouldn’t come back.
How did a person do that?
It wasn’t the only reason he couldn’t sleep. With no crib, he’d watched Stephanie for every movement, every little roll, making sure she was safe. To his surprise, she slept through the night. When she blinked open her eyes, she looked at him. Just looked. No sound escaped her mouth. It was like she tried figuring out who he was, if he’d leave her too.
Still, he couldn’t hate Sherrie. “Your mom is just confused,” he whispered. Her eyes widened, as if she’d understood him. “I’m so sorry you were born into this mess, kid.”
As much as he wanted to find Sherrie and tell her just how awful her decisions were, he couldn’t believe what Liz said about her.
There was no way she drugged him. The lies she would’ve had to have told, they were incomprehensible. Being a wayward mother doesn’t make a person any worse than anyone else. Just lost.
But murder? That’s what it would’ve been if he’d died. If Bentley had died.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, realizing how dumb he sounded when she couldn’t respond. “I bet you are. I’m starving.” Rolling out of bed, he turned and reached down to pull her into his arms. She fit somehow. Then, he smelled it. “Whoa there, girl. I think a bit of washing is in order before anyone else gets to see your beautiful face.”
But… what now? Holding her with one arm, he searched the bags, finding a pack of diapers and wipes.
“Do you know how to do this?” he asked. He ripped open the package and pulled out a diaper, holding it up to try to figure out which side was the back.
When someone knocked on the door, he startled. “It’s a bit early for cleaning service,” he yelled.
Stephanie started crying, and he rocked her the way he’d seen Liz doing, but she didn’t quiet. The knock sounded again, and something warm oozed out the side of her soiled diaper. He gagged as the stench hit him. “Baby, you and I are going to have words.”
Holding her away from his chest now, he yanked open the door.
As soon as he saw Bentley, he shoved Stephanie at him and ducked into the bathroom to scrub his hands and arms with scalding hot water. “What are you doing here?” he called.
“I didn’t have anything on my schedule this morning. Figured you needed the help.”
When Nick exited the bathroom, he found Bentley fitting a fresh diaper onto Stephanie with one hand.
“I raised three of these.” He smiled down at her. She’d stopped crying as Bentley looked back over his shoulder. “Go put a shirt on. We’re getting breakfast in town.”
Not wanting to be left alone with the baby, he didn’t argue. They had most of the day before they had to be at the center.
The three of them strolled into Emma’s Diner twenty minutes later and slid into a booth.
“Do people just hold babies all the time when they eat?” He bounced Stephanie on his leg while perusing the menu.
Bentley shook his head with a laugh. “There are a few things you’re going to need if you plan to keep her.”
“Keep her?” he hissed, leaning forward. “I’m not her father. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
A waitress stepped up to the table, and they both ordered coffee and omelets. Nick pulled a bottle out of the bag he’d brought and tried to find a good angle to hold Stephanie at. There was none.
“You’re hopeless, man.” Bentley reached across the table and took the baby and bottle. He made it look so easy.
“It was a long night.” Nick rubbed a hand across his face. “I didn’t exactly get much sleep.”
“Thinking of Liz?”
“No,” he said quickly. “Trying not to kill a tiny human takes a lot of energy.”
Bentley didn’t look like he believed him, but Nick was beyond caring, beyond doing much aside from staying upright.
“Booker, Jimmy!” Bentley waved to the two men as they walked in. Nick wanted to hide, to avoid the accusing gaze of Liz’s friend. They stopped next to the booth.
