Page 58 of Don't Regret Me
Bea sighed. “What is that racket?”
“Oh, you know, I just adopted a few kids while I was here.”
“Not funny.”
He flopped down on the ugly white suede couch. “Bea?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Do you think I’d be a good father?”
She was quiet for a moment. “You’re a good man.”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
“If you listened for one second of your life and used that brain in your head, you’d realize it does. Being a good father is a learned skill. You start with being a good man because that makes you want to do right by a kid. You have to be willing to learn, to make mistakes, and be humbled. So, yes, Nick. I think you could be a great father because you wouldn’t allow yourself to do it any other way.”
“Wow, Bea, when did you get so deep?” He chuckled, surprised at how much he’d needed her words.
“Don’t tell anyone.”
He leaned his head against the cushions. He hadn’t told anyone what Liz told him about supposedly meeting him when they were both asleep. It seemed so far-fetched, so impossible that he hadn’t been able to find the words. And now, he wasn’t sure what to think.
Liz wasn’t just some fan who wanted to see what it was like dating Nick Jacobs. She wasn’t someone trying to sell his secrets to the press, like he’d accused her of being. Instead, she’d tried to prove he wasn’t what everyone thought. He wasn’t an addict who put other people in danger, who almost killed Bentley.
And she’d failed.
“Do you believe in dreams, Bea?” He sighed, knowing how off-his-rocker he sounded.
“Well, I don’t know how to answer that. I guess, in a way, I do. I believe they can tell us things about us, our desires, and our fears. No dream is random.”
That wasn’t what he’d wanted to hear, so he tried something else. “Where do you think I went? When I was in the coma.”
That made her pause. “That’s a good question. You weren’t there in front of me, that’s for sure. If you were, you’d have made some kind of sign rather than letting us worry.” By “us” she had to mean just her. “You’d have known long ago that Sherrie was a piece of work, only showing up at the hospital for publicity.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you seemed happy for a bit after you woke up. Guilt-ridden, yes, but you didn’t remember the tumultuous year you’d had, and it seemed like a good thing.”
He rubbed his eyes, wishing he’d known it all earlier. “And Liz? What about her? She says we met in some kind of dreamland at the lake house I own. Do you think that dream is telling her something?”
This time, Bea’s sigh felt personal. “Nicolas, I saw that woman after she woke up when you were still asleep. I saw the fear in her, the love. There is no doubt in my mind something happened. I don’t know what exactly, but just because I can’t explain something doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.”
“How am I supposed to believe in something so… so?—”
“You’d have to be the world’s most gullible fool to believe it.”
“And I?—”
“Be a fool, sweetie.”
Believe her.
He wasn’t sure he knew how. After getting off the phone with Bea, he walked back outside. Bentley and his kids were climbing into kayaks at the edge of the lake, but Nick’s focus wasn’t on them. He had a clear view across the lake to the house he bought, mostly for Stephen.
He hadn’t felt Stephen’s presence in a long time, but the longer he stood there, the more he sensed he wasn’t alone.
No memory is ever gone. Some just shine brighter than others.
