Page 101 of No Rhyme or Roughing
Nervous energy coursed through me, so I cleaned. Bathrooms, kitchen, vacuuming—every speck of dust became an enemy I could attack with my pent-up anxiety.
For once, things were improving with at least one of my sisters. Soon, Stasia and I would be working together. I’d officially decided to go no-contact with my parents, though it wasn’t as if they were trying to reach out to me.
I had a direction.
So, why did it still feel like ants were crawling under my skin?
A car pulled up outside, and I could hardly breathe. The sound of a key in the lock made my heart stutter.
The door swung open, and the world tilted. Guardian yipped and ran toward them, preparing to leap.
Teddy’s grinning face appeared. “Sydy, I missed you!” He dropped his duffel bag and hurried toward me, yanking me into a hug, the puppy still dancing around his heels.
“Oof, too tight,” I grumbled, but he didn’t let go.
Over his shoulder, I saw Rowan walk in behind him. Then, the door shut.
Teddy finally released me and followed my gaze. “He went straight to the rink after our flight. Said he had some energy to skate off.” He bent to pick up his dog and give him the same enthusiastic greeting before putting him back down.
I could read between the lines. Ryder hadn’t been ready to see me. I knew leaving that morning without a word would hurt him, but I hadn’t realized just how much—until now.
Because I was hurting too.
Rowan gave me a one-armed hug as I asked, “How has he been?”
He and Teddy shared a look before Teddy brushed past me, pretending not to hear. “Wow, this place looks great,” he said, veering toward the kitchen.
Rowan lingered, placing a hand on my shoulder and giving me a long, pointed look. “He’s been… fucking terrible.”
And it was all my fault.
Teddy returned moments later with three beers, handing one to Rowan and another to me before patting Guardian’s head.
“So…” he said, twisting off his cap. “I got a call from our dear Stasia.” He took a sip and grinned. “Were you going to tell me you took a semi-local job?”
I looked away. “Eventually.”
“This is cause to celebrate!” His arms wrapped around me again, and I let myself sink into him for a moment. Teddy had always been my person, my support. But I needed to stand on my own now. I straightened.
“And with an NHL team,” Rowan added, whistling.
I forced a smile. My own two feet. Making decisions for myself. Being a grown-up. Stopping the running. “Yeah, yeah, it’s great. I have to go.”
I shoved my beer into Teddy’s hand, stuffed my feet into my shoes, and bolted out the door.
My little car, still dented from my run-in with Ryder, felt like a sign. That day, crashing into him and bringing him back into my life, was now a metaphor for what I’d done to his world. Dented it. Changed it.
Destroyed it.
Maybe we’d both needed our safe little worlds destroyed.
Even with light traffic on the Bay Bridge, the drive into the city felt endless. My fingers tapped impatiently on the steering wheel, an invisible clock ticking in my head. I didn’t know why this felt so urgent. Neither of us were running to catch a flight. We weren’t dying or moving away.
But we were standing still, and I was tired of it.
I parked at a meter near the arena and swiped my card, giving myself an hour. Parking on the street in San Francisco was risky, but so was not getting to the arena.
Then, I ran around the corner, toward those large glass windows. I hadn’t realized I’d opened the one door I knew would be unlocked until I was bounding up the staircase onto the small concourse. My lungs burned, but I kept going until I reached the elevators that would take me down to the bowels of the arena.
