Page 102 of No Rhyme or Roughing
I saw him from the end of the Zamboni tunnel.
A security guard waved me in. I guessed I was known as the girl helping save the team now.
Ryder skated from blue line to blue line in short, choppy strides. His face was red and shining with sweat, his arms pumping at his sides.
Those sturdy legs didn’t stop.
His hair flopped into his eyes, but he didn’t brush it back. He wasn’t skating for precision—I could tell that right away. This was about speed.
I rested my forearms on the half-wall and peered through the glass, unable to look away. He was powerful, strong. Beautiful.
Stasia had been right. I knew that now. Whathappened with my parents wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t too loud, too weird, too much.
But what happened with Ryder? That was on me.
His skates sliced through the ice as he slowed, his back to me. Without turning around, he asked, “What are you doing here?”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
RYDER
“What are you doing here?”
I couldn’t keep the bite out of my tone. Sydney was interrupting my peace, my arena. She didn’t belong here. She didn’t belong with me. She’d made that clear.
I stopped skating, focusing on the pattern of cuts my skates had carved into the ice. Still, she didn’t speak.
I hadn’t heard the door to the ice open, hadn’t noticed her walking toward me, but when I turned, there she was.
She looked nervous, an unsure version of herself. I hated the people who had instilled that doubt in her. Sydney deserved so muchmore than the years of emotional trauma her parents had left her with. But I couldn’t be there for her, not right now.
Not when every part of me screamed to reach out to her. To comfort her. To tell her how much I loved her.
Her eyes lifted to meet mine, and for once, I didn’t see the usual sadness. Instead, there was something… bright.
“Ryder,” she breathed. “I missed you.”
I skated back a few paces, putting some space between us. “I won’t say I didn’t miss you because you’d know I was lying.” My arms folded across my chest, like they were trying to hold the pieces of my heart together.
“I…” Her lips pressed shut, and she drew a deep breath through her nose. “I’m moving to San Jose.”
“Good for you.” I meant it. If that would make her happy, I wanted it for her. “I heard about the job.”
She lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. “I figured it was time to give you your room back.”
“It’ll be nice to get off the couch.”
She flinched and looked away.
I sighed. “Syd, look at me.”
She did.
“Why did you come here today? Can you just be honest with me for once?”
“I’ve never lied to you, Ryder. Not once. From the beginning, I told you what I was capable of—that I didn’t fall. But you pushed and pushed.” She stepped closer, shoving me back. “You just wouldn’t stop. And then, you confess these feelings without giving me any time to process. I…” She drew in another breath. “I didn’t want to love you. I didn’t want to need you so badly that when you’re gone, it’s like part of me is too.
“Fuck you, Ryder.” She poked my chest. “Fuck you and your feelings.”
