Page 81 of Only ever you-Ana & Byron
"I'm so sorry," he said first. "What we're looking at is likely a condition called Potter's syndrome."
He explained slowly, as if giving them time to absorb what he was saying, "Renal agenesis leading to oligohydramnios means the kidneys have not developed and there is not enough fluid surrounding the baby. This condition is also associated with underdeveloped lungs. A congenital heart defect has been picked up on the scan, in your child's case, likely a condition called Tetralogy of Fallot.”
"There's usually a high chance of first-trimester loss," he said. "But sometimes, like here... it progresses longer."
Ana cleared her throat to ask the question that had been haunting her, "Is it something I did?"
The doctor met her eyes. "Ms. Bartolini, this has nothing to do with your surgery. Or anything you took or didn't take. This is likely to be sporadic. We can do genetic testing to be sure, but until proven otherwise... please, don't blame yourself or your partner. It is neither your fault nor his."
***
They went home in a fog.
Byron reheated the carrot soup. He placed a warm mug in her hands.
Ana stared at it. "I thought... I thought finally our luck was changing."
Byron's voice was rough. "It's not your fault. None of it."
She didn't argue, but she didn't agree.
"We've got an appointment tomorrow with the GP for bloods," Byron said. "But I think we should go private. NHS takes ages."
Ana nodded wearily. "Fine."
They slept after lying awake for the longest time, curled around each other in silence.
***
Over the next days, Ana had test after test. Blood work. Karyotyping. She worked limited hours from home, logged off early, lay on the sofa and barely spoke.
Byron checked on her constantly, the dark circles around his eyes betraying his worry. She barely noticed. She was still digesting all the information.
The bleeding started the day before their follow-up. Their baby was 21 weeks old
They rushed to A&E. Byron got a lot of stares, but no one approached. A young emergency doctor met them, pale and twitchy after a long shift, clearly uncomfortable. He fetched the on-call gynaecologist promptly, a silver-haired gentleman with a tired but kind face.
He guided them to a curtained cubicle and sat on the uncomfortable vinyl chair next to the bed.
"I'm sorry," he said. "With the bleeding and everything we know about the baby's anomalies... I believe nature is taking its course. We would have expected this to happen in the first trimester."
Ana nodded, dazed.
"This isn't the conversation I want to be having," he added gently. "But in this case... even if he lived... his life would have been very hard."
Ana's voice cracked. "Fine."
Byron and Cadi stayed with her. But when the worst began, Ana looked at Cadi and said, "Go home. Please."
Cadi wanted to stay, but finally gave in. She kissed Ana’s forehead and squeezed Byron’s shoulder before leaving.
Hours passed.
When it was over, Ana whispered, "I want to see him."
They wrapped the tiny body in a soft hospital blanket. A nurse brought him in, cradled with the care one would give a priceless gift.
Ana wept silently. Byron's eyes glistened.
