Page 127 of Ghost
Chapter Forty-Three
Mason pulled his knees up to his chin and cried.After some time, he didn’t know how long he’d sat there, he could feel someone staring at him.When he looked up, he was surprised to see Gerald squatted down, balanced on the front of his feet.
“What do you want?”Mason asked none to politely.
“Mason, Ellen and I both care about you and want you to be happy.”He sat down with his legs crossed.“Neither of us can quite understand how you feel, but I have a fairly good idea.”He sighed heavily and began to wring his hands together.He looked up into Mason’s eyes.“You are a better man than I.I did not have the strength to leave, but neither was Ellen insistent that I go into the light.I was jealous and...well, selfish.I was too selfish to let Ellen have a life after I died.I was wrong.She was wrong.If you ever tell her I said that I will deny it.”He smiled slightly.
“I don’t want him to go.”
“Now, that I completely understand.”Gerald looked towards the window.“It is very hard to leave the one you love.”He looked back to Mason.“You will love again.It may not be the same way, but you are young, and love will come to you.”
Mason lowered his legs and sat up straight.“And what about Francis?”
“I am sorry, but that I cannot answer.Why?Because I was a jealous, selfish and controlling man.I denied my greatest love the chance of a full life.It is the biggest regret I ever had.I was wrong and bear the burden with a saddened heart that I am sure will never go away.The guilt I carry is so very heavy.”
Mason closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, letting it go slowly.
“I will tell you this, Mason.Francis is hurting just as much, but he is a sensible man and Ellen has showed him the error that we made.It was a very grave error.”
“How is it that Francis didn’t go into the light?”
Gerald sat motionless for a moment.“To be completely honest, I’m not sure how it all works exactly, but from what I gather, it was the way Francis died.”Gerald looked at Mason sadly.“He was murdered by his own mother in his own home.I think...I think he was just lost and didn’t see the light.That’s my guess at any rate.”
“How am I going to go on living here without him?”
Gerald reached out to Mason.Mason could feel a warm flush, like a warm breeze that flowed through him.
“You will learn to, Mason.”Gerald stood up.“You are a survivor, my friend.You may not know it now, but you have an energy about you that makes people want to be with you, and not in the way of just lovers.It is an aura that makes people happy and...satisfied if that’s even it.It is very strong within you.”
Mason shook his head and looked down.“I don’t understand.”He looked up at Gerald.
“I know you do not, but I think you have much to learn about this life.A life very much worth living in your own way.You have so much to offer, a lot more than I ever did.”He motioned for Mason to stand up.“Come, you have guests.”He looked intently at Mason.“Francis is with Ellen.He will need you as much as you need him tonight.Do not waste a single second.Um...you might want to clean up a bit, though.You’re quite dirty and sweaty.”
* * * * *
The evening went by quickly, but as slow as a snail.It was so confusing to Mason.On one hand, he was surrounded by people, but Francis was always close.It was difficult to not stare at him when no one but Ellen, and of course Gerald, could see him.In the back of his mind, he was counting down the moments they had left together, and his heart was breaking.Mason wasn’t even sure he would live to see the next day.
Many times during the evening, people spoke to him, he had conversations, and it was all such a blur.There was music, dancing and a lot of drinking.It was a great party and Mason didn’t feel a part of it.In fact, he was numb to everyone and everything around him except Francis.At one point he wondered why there was even a party to begin with.He made a note to ask Patty when he could.
At one point Ellen cornered Mason inside, as he came out of the bathroom.She reached for him and grasped his forearm.“You are holding up very well.”
“He is a very strong man, dear cousin,” Francis said quietly.“Much stronger than I.”Francis looked into Mason’s eyes and then slowly faded away.Mason did not see him the rest of the evening while guests were around.
Mason looked at Ellen.“Why are we even having this party?What’s the point?”
Ellen sighed, tiredly, suddenly looking very old and tired.“It is a distraction for what is to come.”She looked into Mason’s eyes.“I think we all need that right now.A way to take our minds off things.”She looked out onto the packed courtyard.“I also think it is a way for this neighborhood to come together again.They also needed this.I think more parties are needed in the future.”
It suddenly occurred to him, as the party started to wind down, that LD Three had not approached him at all during the party.He frowned slightly as he watched all the LD’s leave.“He didn’t even say goodbye.”
“That’s because he and I had a...conversation,” Ellen said.She smiled at Mason.“Don’t worry, it was only for tonight.”
