Page 41 of Knot Enough
“What?” I shouted. “A babysitter?” Bitterness tinged my voice.
Axel stepped forward and caught my hand. I tried to pull away, and his grip tightened.
“Everything will be okay.”
It wasn’t as reassuring as he thought. I didn’t meet his gaze as I blankly stared at the dip between his collarbone. His chest expanded. I turned my head; I didn’t even want to see him breathe.
He frowned, but didn’t push me. Slowly, keeping his eyes on me, he backed out of the room. I was numb. Footsteps neared, but even those weren’t enough to rip me out of my head.
Oak caught me as I crumpled in place. He forced my chin into the crook of his shoulder and nestled me there, rubbing my back. A silent sob wracked my ribcage.
“Breathe. In and out, Butterfly. You’re going to make yourself throw up.”
It felt like those were the most words he’d said to me since they took me.
TWENTY-ONE
After she had calmed down, I was left sitting on the couch waiting for her as she got ready. Not everyone admitted it yet, but we wanted her. I’d made peace with what happened that night when Valerie took Kim and Lennox from us. If we couldn’t escape the past, we would never be happy. Things had been getting better. We wanted to make her feel good and then . . .
Fuck.
I don’t know.
She wasn’t Valerie?
As she threw on a shirt and I tried not to go backwards, but she was here because of her guilt. Rath didn’t fuck around. When he obsessed over something, it drove him to madness. He needed to know everything about it. I know he put the time and effort into watching her before he took her.
There was no way he grabbed the wrong woman, but if he did, that was a whole other can of worms. If she was innocent, the atrocities we’d committed were unforgivable. We raped, chained, and carved her. No amount of apologizing would make this okay. In the beginning, I didn’t want to go down this path, but I didn’t stop Rath or anyone else. I’m as guilty as the others.Even more so than Axel because I didn’t even try to fucking feed her.
As sobs wracked her body, I’m filled with self-loathing. Right now, we’re at a point where the guys are confirming her story. I don’t care if what she’s said is a lie or not; there was no doubt in my mind she belonged with us.
The question was: did we deserve her? The answer was clear. We didn’t.
She paced back and forth, her chest rising and falling rapidly. I needed to get her out of this house. We both needed air to think things through. She ran her hand through her beautiful hair, yanking a handful before turning to me.
“Rath hates me,” she groaned angrily.
“That’s not true,” I rasped through the guilt that clogged my throat. She raised her head and lifted her chin to glare at me. Even with her eyes swollen, cheeks red, and a runny nose from crying, she was beautiful.
“Don’t lie to me, Oak,” she hiccuped.
“He’s been cruel because he thinks you’re Valerie,” I whispered.
“You believe me?” she asked. Her eyes round with hope.
“I believe you,” I promised. “Just. . . trying to make sense of it all now.” Her chin trembled as she threw her arms around my neck.
“I know it’s absolute shit right now, and it probably isn’t the best time, but let me take you out.”
“Like a date?” she rasped.
“Like a date,” I repeated. With a quick glance at the doorway, her shoulders slumped, and she pulled back.
“Do you think that’s a good idea right now?”
“I think we need to touch grass. Let me do something nice for you.” My voice cracked on the last half as she searched my eyes.
“You’re right. I’ve been stuck in this house for long enough. It’s about time you pampered me,” she teased. I offered her a smile, and she got up. She offered me her hand, and I stared at it a second before I interlocked our fingers and stood up.
