Page 56 of The Duke of Fire
“I think you need to revisit that statement,” Benedict said, sounding more serious. He took a deep breath and leaned forward. He did not sound like he was teasing anymore. “Think about what you really feel about Miss Warton.”
“I have been helping her achieve her freedom. Then, she hides from me after… what would you think if you were me? That is all there is to it,” Sebastian insisted, as he gripped his glass tightly.
Silence greeted his statement, but his two friends exchanged a glance. He knew what that meant. They did not believe him. He could not blame them because he was not sure he believed himself.
And yet.
He had never been in a place of vulnerability like this. Sebastian downed his brandy. At the very moment he slammed his glass on the table, the fire crackled in the hearth.
“It was supposed to be all so simple,” he admitted. “The whole thing was about sharing pleasure, and nothing more.”
“You know what this is. You have denied it before. Do not tell me that we will all be caught in a cycle. What if, after you see her again, she disappears again, and then we will have this conversation once more,” Benedict wondered.
Sebastian did not answer. Cassian merely watched as he reached for another bottle, this time whiskey. The decanter was ostensibly empty.
“You look like a man who no longer finds joy in the things you used to do,” he remarked, shaking his head slowly.
“I am guessing White’s no longer makes you feel the way it used to,” Benedict observed. “Don’t you even want to come and wager with someone about what could happen if you bed a lady more than once?”
“You know that will never happen,” Sebastian grunted, the denial bitter on his tongue. “But if it satisfies you, I will tell you what I have been up to these days. I went to Vauxhall, then the Opera. I even tried spending some time at Gentleman Jackson’s. There was this woman who got too close, and I felt like my old self again. Then… I saw her in the light, and I just could not.”
He was almost panting after his emotional rant. His friends merely looked at him. They knew he had more stories within him, burning like fire. Spreading wild. It was all because of that woman who had managed to make him feel so lost. So restless.
“Everything I have tried felt wrong. So, even though I heard my name being called as if I were being cajoled into a world beyond ours, I just could not go back to that woman. She was—” Sebastian faltered, looking away.
“Not Miss Warton?” Cassian said impatiently. “Well, you can always take her to bed and see if it is all about the wait.”
Sebastian thought about it. Perhaps it could be as simple as that.
“Their music. Their voices. They all used to be seductive,” he murmured.
“Again, no one sounded like her.” Cassian’s voice was starting to sound impatient, and he could not really blame his friend.
Sebastian’s jaw clenched. Perhaps it was time to stop talking. He should either move on with his life or actively pursue her.
“Miss Warton can read you,” Benedict added casually, as if they were merely discussing the weather. “She reads you, and possibly other people in the room. She is clearly an intelligent young woman. Have you thought that she is the one playing the game better than you are?”
Sebastian bristled at that. He knew that Amelia was a smart woman. There was no doubt about it. But the idea that she was playing him seemed preposterous. The woman wanted to escape. She was not faring well under a man’s thumb. Why would she want submission?
The last word made delicious visions rise from within him, but he stomped them down.
“Enough!”
“Well, you must decide, Sebastian. You have never been this uncertain about anything. She is not here,” Benedict reminded him, “and you are.”
Sebastian had somehow calmed down. The humor of it all silenced the turmoil within him.
“Inconvenienced,” he said, grinning widely. “Mildly inconvenienced.”
Cassian laughed at that. Nobody would ever believe that Sebastian and the word ‘mildly’ were ever associated at some point in the duke’s life.
“While I am your friend and I do not want to see you suffering, I must say that your grandmother is the only other person on God’s dear Earth who is enjoying this as thoroughly!”
“What about me, then?” Benedict asked, just as willing to rid themselves of the earlier tension.
As if the invocation had somehow worked, a knock sounded at the door.
“Come in!” Sebastian called out, already guessing who could be wanting his presence.
