Page 69 of Brutal Unionn
She exhales, resetting her stance. Her tongue wiggles as her chest settles and her back says rigid from her hips rocking back and forth. I hold her hips in my hands and angle my body to be solid behind her to keep her position as rigid as possible.
Normally, I wouldn’t be teaching a twelve-year-old how to wield a weapon. That should tell you everything about the state of the world.
But here I am—in the middle of a forest clearing behind the estate—watching Mia squint at a wooden target while gripping a sharpened ninja star with hands that are still too small to hold most guns.
The threats against the Bratva have tripled in the last year alone. The Yakuza and the Polish used to be uneasy allies, balanced on fragile treaties and backroom deals. But those ties snapped after we refused to give up Sho, and things escalated even faster when I made it clear I wouldn’t fold just because a woman was running the Bratva. Aleksandr killed a member of the fucking Irish mob two years ago which ruined our relationship with the Irish, despite the member being a fucking rat. I had to kill a few handsy, disrespectful members of the Polish mafia, and when Hiragi Daichi—the enforcer of the Yakuza—came to intimidate me, I sent his head back to Takeda. Any friendliness between us ended there, and they’ve been trying to kill us ever since. The only ally we have are the Italians and they have no true reason to go to war with most of the big players in New York just because I refuses to step down as queen of the Bratva.
Now Gwen and Nikolai’s children: Gio, Mia, and Toni are all in danger. Aleksandr has moved Lily to an island off the coast of Costa Rica and refuses to let anyone know their exact coordinates, and I don’t blame him. She is seven months pregnant, and if anything happened to her I doubt he would forgive himself. I know for a fact he would not forgive me.
All of this because I wanted a man I knew I couldn’t have. All of this because for the first time in my life I put myself ahead of the family. Because of me, we live in a world where every phone call could be a declaration of war, and every child in my family is a liability if they can’t defend themselves. All of this shit and I didn’t even get the fucking guy. There is noBonnieandClyde.Mister and Misses Smith fucking nothing.
When it all first went down, I tried. I really fucking tried. For six months—with the walls caving in and every person gunning for my head or my title asVor v Zakone—I threw all of that aside for him. I hunted him down. I wanted him to know that I did want him. That everything we shared, this feeling in my chest—part explosion, part terror—meant something. That it did equate to love.
I loved Sho Matsumoto.
I had a love so consuming, I almost sentenced my entire family to death.
And he disappeared.
Didn’t even let me explain. Didn’t even fight for me. He just vanished into thin air.
I don’t like this. I never wanted this for us. I never wanted this for my family. I never wanted to be the one who stole her innocence the way Boris stole ours. Isn’t that the whole point of taking down a tyrant? So the next generation has a better,fuller life? So they don’t live in fear of the world the way you did? But I can’t hold onto this guilt, because I want her alive more than I want her innocent.
“There,” I nod. “Now you look dangerous.”
Mia flashes me a grin, one dimple deepening on her cheek. I hate how much it reminds me of her mother. Of innocence. Of everything that’s always one bullet away from being ruined.
I glance at the star in her hand, then at the target nailed to the tree.
“Release,” I whisper, guiding her arm gently through the motion.
The star sails forward and misses the target by two inches. A part of me wants to scream.
Boris would’ve struck Aleksandr and Nikolai across the face for that kind of failure, saying they weren’t even worthy of dinner since they’d be dead in the field anyway.
To me, he would’ve simply said he expected disappointment from a girl.
And I’d stay out all night—alone—throwing star after star until my fingers bled, punishing myself to be just as good. Just as ruthless. Just as untouchable.
I know this type of punishment works. I know this type of punishment would burn all the goodness inside of her and therefore I bite my cheek, fight my base instinct of disappointment and pat her hip twice as lovingly as I can. My other hand pitches her elbow.
“Almost. Higher elbow,” I call out, my voice slicing through the quiet.
Mia shifts in her stance, adjusting her grip the way I showed her, tongue poking out the corner of her mouth like she’s drawing a masterpiece instead of preparing to throw sharpened steel.
I should have her in art class. Ballet. Something soft. But soft things die in this life. And even if I protect her from the pain of the world around her, at some point she is going to need to know how to protect herself.
Mia’s fingers tremble around the edge of the ninja star, and I watch her stance like a hawk sizing up prey. Too wide. Too stiff. Her shoulders are up by her ears, like the weapon might bite her if she breathes wrong.
“You’re gripping it too tight,” I say, my voice straining as I try to sound as sweet as I normally do when I see her.
She turns to me with that scrunched-up expression she gets when she’s trying not to pout. “If I don’t hold it tight, it’ll fall out.”
“If you hold it like that, it won’t fall out—sure. But only after it slices your fingers open on the way down.” She flinches, but I don’t coddle.
I reach for her hand. Her fingers are small, delicate, still covered in faint glitter from whatever book she was reading this morning. I should send her inside. Tell her to go paint or read poetry. But I won’t. The world won’t give her softness, and I’d rather she learn sharp things from me than someone who doesn’t love her.
“Here,” I say, adjusting her grip. “Not too tight. Think of it like an egg. Too tight and you’ll break it, okay?”
