Page 128 of Broken by my Bully
Jesus, Haven. How about we stick to fucking reality for a bit?
I slap my hands on my cheeks like I’m trying to wake myself up.
Again. A little harder. Until they’re stinging.
Youcan notfuck your professor.
Youwill notfuck your bully.
Haven Lee is a good girl, and all she’s interested in is creating the best damn life she can for herself.
“Haven Lee is a good girl,” I whisper to myself as I blink back tears.
My hand is still shaking as I switch off the hazard lights and accelerate down the road. But at least all those nasty, dirty thoughts have fled.
I arrive at the diner an hour before my shift starts. I smear some foundation on my neck and help myself to a half-eaten burger off a plate that’s waiting to be washed. Then I slip into the tiny, cramped staff room to read Professor Rooke’s notes while I fill the void in my stomach left behind by the rocky road that’s now only a fond memory.
My professor starts off with new material, a fascinating study conducted by psychologist Stanley Milgram where authority figures instructed participants to electrocute test subjects at increasingly dangerous voltages.
The twist was, they didn’t know the test subjects were actors, or that the machine they were using was a dud.
Some admitted they had figured it out. Maybe the acting was a little too theatrical, but most had no idea that they weren’t doing real harm to a stranger…just because someone in a uniform told them to.
Professor Rooke states that the illusion of authority creates as strong a power dynamic between individuals as does actual authority.
But this perception of power can be influenced just as readily with the introduction of knowledge and manipulation, especially in the form of blackmail.
And fuck, that sends a very real shiver down my fucking spine. It’s like Bastian was with me and Kai the whole of yesterday, watching over us like a demented god.
Professor Rooke’s study material ends with a group discussion focused on identifying what circumstances might cause a shift in the power dynamics between people.
Guess I’ll be missing that.
But in a way, I’m glad.
I pored over my grant application at the beginning of the year to make sure it was perfect before I submitted it to AHC. And while it mentioned that there were prerequisite courses for maintaining the grant, I could never have imagined one of them would be a class like this.
But since I’m majoring in social work, I guess I’ll need to know how things like authority and power dynamics work.
Maybe then I won’t be caught off guard again. I had no idea the college would run a background check on me. That Bastian would go to my old apartment.
What worries me even more is that my dad isn’t there anymore.
Question is, was that the end of his snooping? Or did he look up my high school records? Middle school? How far back did he go?
He’d have no reason to track me back all the way to the trailer park where I hung out with Kai…right?
No, whatreallyworries me is that all he found wrong with my application was a supposed fudged residential address.
Unless hedidfind more.
And he’s planning some blackmail of his own.
I press my fingers against my lips when my mouth curls into a smile.
I’m in no position to be enjoying this, but I can’t help myself.
I’ve always loved playing games.
