Because he’s laughing so hard, he has to hold on to the lectern for support.
“Out of their car!” he roars. “Bullshit!” He holds up the slip of paper, folded again so no one can see my name. “I call bullshit.”
My breath hitches in my chest, my hand tightening in Melissa’s, hers gripping me back even tighter.
“Laugh,” Melissa whispers furiously at me. “Laugh!”
I let out an uneasyha-ha.
And then I’m laughing for real, because, fuck it, looks like I’m not in Kansas anymore. I glance over at Melissa. She’s watching me as she laughs, her free hand over her mouth, but her eyes flicker with guilt.
And when I pull my hand out of hers, she doesn’t try to hold on.
I can barely hear her through the laughter when she whispers, “I’m so sorry, Haven.”
Kai scrapes the envelopes together and packs them into a neat stack between his palms. “You want to know why I enjoy working with Professor Rooke?”
“He’s easy on the eyes!” someone yells from the back. I swear he’s the same guy who was so disappointed when the professor told him he didn’t want dick pics.
Kai points the stack of envelopes at him. “Sure.”
“He’s fucking gorgeous!” a girl in the front row adds.
“Yeah, Christ, alright,” Kai snaps. “Everyone wants to fuck Rooke.” The students laugh, but he keeps right on talking, and eventually they taper off to listen.
I don’t want to puke anymore, but my anxiety’s at a ten as I wait for the other shoe to drop. And I guess I’m just as interested in what Kai has to say as anyone else.
“Besides this joker—” Kai holds up my slip of paper “—how many of you wrote something hurtful, shameful…and bogus?”
Silence. I have to school myself so I don’t start fidgeting with my pen. What the hell is he trying to say? That even if it’s cruel, people would rather tell the truth than lie?
“The card didn’t say the secret had to be true.”
He twitches his wrist, making the envelopes slap against each other.
“Professor Rooke gave you the authority to be as nice or as cruel as you wanted…and I’m betting most you guys saw a chance to do some damage, and you didn’t even think twice.”
That’s when he looks over at me.
Our eyes lock, and it’s as if I’m back under that table in the library. Kai with his dick in his hands, and me about to swallow him down.
It shouldn’t—fuck how could it?—but the serene look that fades onto his face sends a thrill through me.
He won. We both know it.
But I clench my jaw, push my chin out.
And I send a mental, ‘that all you got?’ his way as he goes back to the desk and collapses onto the chair. An impish smile pulls at his mouth. The class is so silent, so hushed, that even when he speaks in a low murmur, I’m sure everyone can hear.
“Wish I could say I’m shocked.” He tilts his head, smile melting away as he openly studies me. “But honestly, I saw it coming.”
The way he’s looking at me makes my skin crawl and burn at thesame time. Like he’s undressing me with his eyes, peeling away every layer until there’s nothing left but the broken girl he used to know.
“Funny thing about secrets,” he says, eyes locked on mine like we’re the only two people in the class, “is that they’re only powerful if you care about them getting out.”
My hands are shaking so hard I can barely hold my pen. Because he’s right. I do care. I care so much it’s eating me alive.
I’ve spent my whole life in poverty. I’ve had every demeaning slur thrown my way because of my torn, grimy clothes. My hair only ever got cut when the hairdresser living on the other side of the trailer park took pity on me. I was called trash so many times, I believed that’s what I was.