Page 2 of Breaking the Rules
Later, I tell myself.
After I secure the twins in their matching high chairs and shush them with kisses, I replace Bishop’s sandwich with a new one and shoot our dog a death glare. The twins babble as I fix plates of sliced bananas and avocado for them and then collapse into a dining chair.
I should fix myself something to eat as well, but I’m too exhausted. I’m not sure if it’s because I haven’t been sleeping well or because of the pregnancy hormones. I’m only about nine weeks along, and I don’t recall my other early pregnancies being this difficult.
I’m so tired. All. The. Time.
But this will be the fourth baby my body has grown in six years, so it’sa lot. Especially on my petite frame. I’m convinced there will be nothing left of my boobs at all by the time I’m done nursing the twins. Which really needs to be any day now. They’re ten months old. I need to begin weaning them soon, but it’s another chore that I don’t want to deal with.
When he’s finished with his lunch, I get Bishop settled with a board game, and then wipe sticky globs of banana from between the twins’ chubby fingers with baby wipes before I put them down for a nap.
Exhausted, I curl up on the sofa in the living room, thinking I should check my email. Maybe reply to my mom’s text. But I’m too tired to move. I let out a huge yawn and have just closed my eyes for a brief nap when I hear the front door open.
“Angel? I’m home,” comes Owen’s voice from the hallway. “And I have great news.”
“Yeah?” I call from the living room.
“Yeah,” he says as his footsteps move down the hall. “My agent says Nashville is interested.”
My stomach does a weird little flip. It’s good news that a team is interested in him, right? That means his dream of coming out of retirement is one step closer.
ButNashville? Uprooting our entire lives to move to a city where I have no friends, no family, no connections? And more importantly ... no childcare help? That thought is terrifying. I’ll have four kids soon. Researching new schools, pediatricians, ob-gyn ... all of it.
Anxiety settles into my chest, making my heart beat faster.
“Becca?” Owen says, his voice closer now.
“That’s great,” I hear myself say, but my voice sounds far away in my own ears, like I’ve lost another piece of myself.
Too many more of them, and I fear there will be nothing left of me.
2
OWEN
“You ready, Barnsley?”
Kyle Barnsley is a freckle-faced kid with a bad attitude who would much rather be playingMinecraftat home than Little League at the park. He glares at me like I asked him to eat dirt.
Awesome.We’re off to a fantastic start.
It’s our last game of the season, and I’m thankful for that. When I volunteered to coach, I had no idea what a time commitment this would turn out to be.
I turn the baseball in my hand as I get into position to lob it less than ten feet toward Barnsley’s outstretched bat. In moments like these, I have to remind myself that some people aren’t cut out for team sports. But then I remember that thesepeopleare five- and six-year-old children. They aren’t cut out for much at all yet.
“Lift your elbows, kid.”
It’s a lost cause. Kyle lifts his arms way too far over his head, and the weight of the bat tumbles him backward. Soon, he’s flat on his ass, crying wet tears all over his freckled face.
“It’s okay, man. You’ll get it next time.”
I nod to Jordie, my catcher for the day. Normally, Grant is my assistant coach, with one of his own kids on the coed team. But he took the weekend off to celebrate his anniversary with Ana a month early in upstate New York, hiring a nanny to take care of their kids.
Becca and I really gotta do that. We’re due for a vacation. Somewhere with a warm beach and a great view and no rush to get out of bed.Christ, what I would give to spend the day in bed with Becca. But that means we’d need to find a nanny, and fuck if I know where to even start with that. Plus, the twins are probably too young to part with at this point.
There goes that thought.
“These kids suck, dude,” Jordie grumbles with zero remorse after helping Barnsley up and shooing him back to the dugout.
