Page 159 of The Single Dads Club
Obviously. I nodded.
“Ah, end of April, I think.”
“Well, I’m sorry about my reaction…it just took me by surprise.” I’d apologize for my public anxiety attack, but I drew the line at offering up my congratulations or breaking out the champagne.
Cade studied my features wearily and scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Damn, cupcake, the baby’s not mine.”
For the first time since I’d laid eyes on him, I finally took a deep breath.
Okay, fine, the baby wasn’t his, but why was he hanging out with a gorgeous porn star he’d slept with?
And more importantly why was it bothering me so much?
We’ were broken up, and we were going to stay that way.
Chapter 22
Cade
The little sobs that were still wracking her chest made me feel like a complete asshole. Alexa had broken down at the mere sight of me. But thinking I’d gotten one of my co-stars pregnant on top of that? Damn, I was just fucking up left and right. I needed to explain this to her, to get this right once and for all.
I took her hand in mine. “Sara’s boyfriend is the father. We met up because she wanted my advice about how I left the adult film business. Despite the fact that she’s pregnant, Rick’s still been harassing her about working for him.”
She pulled her hand away suddenly, her face scrunching up. “So the baby’s not yours?”
“No. Not mine.” Thank fucking God. I knew I wasn’t ready to bring a kid into this world. I had my hands full enough with Lily already. But the idea of watching Alexa’s belly grow bigger with my baby… Well, that was a different story. I pushed the thought away.
“Oh.” Her shoulders sagged in relief. “And…you left the business?”
“Yes. I never intended to be a porn star, Lex, I can promise you that. The only reason I did those two scenes was because I had thousands of dollars in medical bills for Lily piling up and I had no way of paying and I needed to make some fast money.” I wanted to tell her that was my plan all along and if she’d just let me explain myself that morning… but I bit my tongue. I hadn’t even tried to stop her the morning that she left. And I’d regretted that every damn day since.
She closed her eyes and drew in a shaky breath. “Oh,” she said again.
Gathering my courage, I straightened. “I need to tell you about that morning you left. The day I went to my last shoot.” Once she knew the truth, she’d probably shoot me down but maybe, just maybe she would trust me again, or at least allow me to prove myself to her and rebuild the trust between us.
She drew in a huge shuttering breath. “Do you really have to? I don’t want to hear all the details, Cade.”
“I think you do,” I countered softly. “I didn’t sleep with her. I couldn’t do it. Not after that night we’d shared.”
“Wait. What do you mean?” Confusion laced her delicate features and her blue eyes held mine.
“I laid there awake all night holding you. I talked myself out of the shoot. Told myself I’d just have to find another way to make money. I intended to go down there and quit.”
She chewed on her lip. “But you didn’t. I saw the video.”
I grimaced. “After you left me, I thought what was the fucking point? I felt empty and broken. God the way you looked at me, like I was a piece of trash. I already knew I was worthless andall wrongfor you, so at that point I thought to myself, why the hell not make bank and pay off the mounting bills.”
Her face cracked and fresh tears spilled over her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I was hurting, Cade, but I never ever wanted you to feel like that. You were everything to me, and I wanted to start a life with you.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. “I know that now. But I still needed the money, and so I formed an idea. I told Rick I wouldn’t have sex with her. It was all fake, Lex, every part of it.”
“Fake?” she asked, breathlessly.
I nodded, meeting her eyes.
“But you were naked.”
I nodded again. “Yeah, we were but I promise you I was never inside of her. I’m so sorry, Lex, I know I hurt you and I know I broke your trust but I promise you I will do anything and everything to gain it back.”
