Page 26 of A Beginner's Guide to Forever
There’s nothing from Hart.
Maybe he’s giving me a little space. Or maybe he got the message and finally realized that he and I make absolutely zero sense. I stare at my phone for a second longer, unsure how to feel.
My stomach growls, and I open the app for food delivery to peruse the options. Settling on chicken pad thai, I place the order; then I collapse onto my sofa and begin the task of replying to all the emails I got while my phone was in airplane mode. I’m in the middle of replying to an email from David, the logistics manager on my team, when another text pops up.
Mom:Can we see you tonight?
I check the time. It’s after eight.
Alessia:I’m exhausted. I want to eat and then crawl into bed. I can come over tomorrow, though. What time?
Mom:Whenever you wake up! We miss you!
I smile. My mom’s the best.
While I wait for my food delivery, I schedule a massage for tomorrow, splurging on the ninety minute rather than the sixty.
Over a pile of rice noodles, which I fork into my mouth in a very unladylike manner, I scroll through social media. Which was a big mistake because I have a notification at the top of my Instagram, and when I click on it, my heart races.
Hart has requested to follow me.
Scarlet’s baby shower is a casual affair. I’m not sure what her first two were like, but this one is at her house. Her husband, Will, greets me at the door with an easy smile.
“She’s going to be so glad you came,” he says, squeezing my hand.
He directs me to the backyard. The patio is full of partygoers, and several young kids, including Scarlet and Will’s, play on a jungle gym set. It’s a beautiful house with plenty of space for entertaining.
Maybe if I had a reason to stick around, I’d save up the money for a down payment on a house. Instead, I blow my money on trivial things, like nice handbags and expensive shoes.
I admitted this once in a therapy session, feeling slightly guilty, but my therapist assured me that they weren’t trivial if they brought me joy. I’m still not sure if that’s true.
I set the baby gift I got them in London down on the gift table, along with presents for their son and daughter, because why not? I figure they deserve a special treat for becoming older siblings. A Lego set for Crosby and a doll for Chloe.
When Scar spots me, she squeals and rises from her chair—which takes considerable effort.
I’ve never seen herthispregnant. She’s delightfully plump, but she would kill me if I said so.
“Look at you!” I laugh, holding open my arms. She embraces me, and I can feel the firm curve of her belly pressing into mine. We hug for a long time, and tears spring to my eyes.
“Seven and a half months,” she confirms, finally releasing me.
“You don’t look a day over seven,” I say, and she laughs.
“Liar.” She sticks out her tongue. “I’mhuge.”
“You’re perfect.” And I mean it. She looks so happy and so full of life, surrounded by a man who loves her and all her family and friends. I swallow down a lump in my throat.
On paper our friendship might not make sense. Scarlet, a brilliant mathlete type, was raised by strict Catholic parents, whose vocabulary didn’t even contain the wordcurfew. They knew where she was atall times. Even into her college years, she still checked in with them every night.
My own upbringing was more bohemian, and my parents were happy to let me explore and try new things, to make mistakes. They insisted it was how we learn and that they would never be helicopter parents.
But despite all our differences or maybe because of them, Scarlet and I worked. We never lacked for topics to dissect together, even the tough ones. She was by far the more conservative of us but never harassed me over my own beliefs.
Our friendship was cemented during a confrontation in the dormitory laundry room.
Someone had taken over her machine and, despite having never met her, I rushed to her defense, always eager to problem solve.
We shared a coffee afterward and then found out we were in the same economics lecture. The following year we were roommates. In fact, we lived together for the next four years until Scarlet got engaged.
