Page 30 of Notice Me, Jameson Hart
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out and unlock it, my fingers trembling.
Rita
How did it go?
Me
Haven’t told him yet. Currently hiding in the bathroom like a cowardly lion.
Her response is immediate.
Rita
You’re not a cowardly lion. You’re Kevin Pryor, future Tony Award winner. You’re processing. Big difference.
Me
What if I never tell him? What if I just let him go?
Rita
Then you’ll regret it forever. You know this.
I take a deep breath and unlock the door. Time to go back downstairs and pretend my world isn’t falling apart. Time to smile and nod and pretend I don’t know my brother is planning to leave us in the dust.
The dining room falls quiet when I return. Four pairs of eyes track my movements.
“Better?” Dad asks when I sit down.
I nod and pick up my fork. The spaghetti is cold now, but I force myself to eat it anyway.
“We were talking about the musical,” Diana says, clearly trying to restore normalcy. “Robbie says you’re thinking about auditioning for a lead role this year?”
“Maybe.” The word comes out flat.
“That’s exciting,” she continues. “What show are they doing?”
“We don’t know yet. Mr. Rodriguez announces it during the first week of school.”
“I hope it’s something with lots of death,” Robbie says. “Like Sweeney Todd. I want to see Kevin covered in fake blood.”
“Sweeney Todd requires a strong baritone,” I say automatically. “I’m more of a tenor.”
“Whatever that means,” Robbie laughs.
The conversation continues around me. Normal family dinner talk. Dad tells us about the compliments he’s been getting on his dad bod at the beach club. Adam and Robbie discuss football strategies, and Diana fills us in on her day at the bank. But I’m back in my head, imagining how different these dinners will be next year.
I excuse myself again as soon as the table is cleared, claiming I need to finish some summer reading. Nobody stops me this time.
Back in my room, I sit at my desk and open my laptop. A blank document stares back at me. The cursor blinks. I need to figure out what to say to Adam, how to tell him I know his secret without ruining everything.
But first, I let myself imagine one more time that none of this is happening. That we’re still the Pryor boys with asimple, shared future. That life-changing secrets don’t exist, and brothers don’t leave.
Then I type.
CHAPTER 9
a trip to the library
