Page 39 of Notice Me, Jameson Hart
“He deserves to know, Adam. We can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when you’re making decisions that affect us all. He really wants it, the three of us at Arcadia U.”
“I’m not ready.” The words come out strained. “What if he hates me? What if he thinks I’m abandoning him?”
“He won’t hate you.” I’m not entirely sure that’s true, but Adam needs to hear it. “He’ll be hurt, confused, maybe even angry at first. But he won’t hate you. He could never.”
“I keep trying to find the right time, the right words. But every time I’m about to say something, he gives me this big dopey smile, and I can’t.”
“The longer you wait, the worse it’ll be.”It’s what I’ve been telling myself all day.
“I know that too.” He glances up at me. “Will you be there when I tell him?”
The request catches me off guard. “You want me there?”
“You’re the bridge between us. Always have been. Robbie and I are too similar in some ways, too different in others. But you—you get both of us.”
I think about this, about my role as the perpetual middle ground, despite being the youngest. I’m the one who translates between Adam’s intensity and Robbie’s chaos. Maybe that’s my identity after all—not solely as one-third of a triplet, but the glue that holds us all together.
“Okay,” I agree. “But you have to do it soon. No more stalling.”
He nods. “After we get back to practice and things are normal again, I’ll tell him.”
It’s not ideal, but it’s a step in the right direction.
“You know what’s funny? I was terrified you’d tell him before I could,” Adam says. “But you didn’t. You kept my secret even though I never asked you to.”
“Because you’re my brother.”
Adam flashes me a watery smile. “Thanks, Kev. For keeping it quiet and coming to me first. For being you.”
“Someone has to be the responsible one.”
“Pretty sure that’s supposed to be my job.”
“Yeah, well, you’re planning to fly off to California, so I guess it’s up to me to pick up the slack.”
He reaches out to shove me gently, and I shove him right back. Before I know it, we’re wrestling on the floor as if we’reeight years old again. It’s ridiculous and childish and exactly what we both need.
When we finally stop, breathless and laughing, I’m lighter than I’ve been in weeks. The secret’s still there, still disgustingly complicated, but at least I’m not carrying it alone anymore.
CHAPTER 11
i know him so well
Rita
Today’s the day! Operation Football Observation is a go! Remember to stay hydrated and take notes for the spreadsheet.
Me
There is no operation. And, OMG. I forgot about the spreadsheet.
Rita
Your bookstore encounter has been coded green! Oh, and don’t forget to put on some sunscreen. Wouldn’t want you getting a farmer’s tan while you pine.
Me
I don’t pine.
