Page 37 of Trusting Laurence
“Yes, I–I’m fine. I just need to wrap my head around this a second. When we do this, I don’t want the ghost of Marcus to ruin this for us. It’s just the difference between pain as punishment and pleasure is difficult to process.”
“I can understand that, and with that in mind, I have to ask, are you sure you want to go through with this?”
“I … I …” She wanted desperately to say the words he wanted to hear. She just couldn’t get them out.
Laurence rubbed his thumb gently over her plush bottom lip, saying, “It’s okay, baby. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I would never hurt you. I really do understand. This is clearly a limit for you, and I respect that. We don’t have to do this now.” He leaned forward to kiss her. The sincerity of his words shone bright in his eyes, and Tahlia felt herself fall deeper. She hadn’t thought she could love this gentle, principled man any more than she already did. She’d been mistaken.
Just as his lips were about to touch hers, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “I trust you, Laurence – I always have. I know you would never intentionally hurt me. And I’m tired of the specter of my past overshadowing my future.” Taking a big breath, she said, “Show me?”
“I have to ask one last time – are you sure, Lia?”
She nodded. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“Okay then, but I need you to understand this real clear – you have the right to put a stop to this at any time.Any time. Yeah?”
Again, Tahlia nodded.
“And that’s another thing, sweetheart. I need you to talk to me. I need you to say the words, no matter how uncomfortable it may make you. If you like something, you don’t like something, I hurt you, you want to stop. It doesn’t matter what it is, you need to give me the words. You understand?”
“Yes, I understand.”
“You hold all the power, Lia. Always.”
“I– okay.”
“You ready?”
She started to nod in reply, then remembered what Laurence said about needing to hear the words spoken out loud. “Yes, I– yes.”
“One last thing, then. You need a safe word. Red puts a stop to everything – it tells me you’re scared, uncomfortable, or in pain. Yellow lets me know the situation is a little outside your comfort zone; I need to dial it back a bit until you’re either more comfortable or you decide you don’t want to carry on. And finally, if I check in and you’re green, it’s all good. With me?”
“Yes.”
“What are the colors, and what do they mean?
Without missing a beat, Tahlia replied. “Red means stop, and everything stops. Yellow means you need to slow down, I’m not comfortable or I’m reaching my limit. And green means I’m all good.”
“That’s it. Ready?”
“Ready,” she replied.
She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath. She exhaled, long and hard, then nodded.
“Undress for me, baby, and when you’re done, come kneel in front of me with your back to me.”
With shaking hands, Tahlia undressed. Nerves made her clumsy, and she fumbled with the buttons on her lacy negligee. Laurence stepped closer and laid his hands over hers. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. As he kissed her, she felt his fingers move over hers, encouraging her to continue undoing her buttons.
His calm, quiet confidence settled her, and together they made short work of the fastenings. He stepped back as the last button slipped free of its hole. He looked at her with eyes heavy with desire. A delicious shiver worked its way through her as she undressed for him.
When she finally stood gloriously naked before him, he held out a hand. She took it, and he kissed the tip of each finger. As if in the middle of a dance, he used the hand he held to turn her around. With her back now to him, Tahlia sank gracefully to her knees. Unsure what to expect next, she looked up at him over her shoulder.
“Eyes to the front, baby.”
He waited for her to comply and then walked over to the vanity, where he appeared to search for something. He first took something out of a drawer, then picked something up off the top before returning to her. When she felt his fingers in her hair, she wanted to purr with delight it felt so good. It was with some surprise that she realized he was braiding her hair. When he was finished, he spoke.
“All right sweetheart, up you come.” Once again, he held out a hand to her, this time to assist her to her feet. “Hands behind your back.”
She complied and felt the silky soft texture of material binding her wrists. Without conscious thought, her whole body went rigid.
