Page 17 of Kian's Devotio
She took her dress off and pulled out a ratty t-shirt she wore to bed here. It was one of Kian’s old ones that he had grown out of a few years ago.
She hated that she wanted to wear it. But it brought her comfort.
She put her pillow to her mouth and muffled her cries.
She had never expected him to kiss her and for him to tell her what a mistake it was.
Her life wasn’t all cupcakes and rainbows and that she didn’t have the perfect, happy family he had, but she didn’t want to believe that was why.
But he had never acted like any of her past mattered. But maybe it really did.
She pulled the pillow in tighter and cried all the harder.
She was broken and would never put her heart out there again.
* * *
After that night, she still went to Emery’s house, but she didn’t talk to Kian again.
Didn’t want to acknowledge him at all. And she refused to do so.
He had held too much of her heart and knew that he would always hurt her if she wasn’t careful.
She heard what the girls at school said about him. How hot he was, how sought after he was.
How this girl had kissed him, and that girl had given him pleasure one night when he was lonely.
She hated hearing those conversations and Emery would roll her eyes at the girls and tell them to take a hike.
That Kian would never stoop so low as to date any of them.
Karalee never said one word to Emery about her feelings and kept them locked down deep inside her.
Not after telling her last year how much she loved him and wished that he would notice her.
Emery was sweet about it and told her that Kian was just a dumb boy and that he needed to grow up to see the gem that he had right in front of his face.
Karalee hadn’t told Emery what really happened at prom and though Emery tried, Karalee didn’t want to relive that night and kept her mouth shut.
She needed to keep her feelings buried deep inside.
She just wanted to not think of him like that ever again.
She was leaving one night after getting her homework done at the library.
She was on the second floor, hidden in a back corner and when she went down the stairs, she saw Kian sitting close to Maria.
She was giggling at something Kian said, and ran her hand over his muscled arm.
He smiled back at her, his chuckle could be heard and then Maria leaned in and kissed his cheek.
She laughed again at something he said, and Karalee couldn’t watch it any longer.
She felt the tears start and she hurried out, not letting them see her.
She kept that hurt deep in her heart and locked it away. She didn’t want to keep being affected by him.
She was done. She had tried to keep her feelings buried but seeing him every day was hard.
