Page 30 of Kian's Devotio
Chapter 5
Kian
Having Karalee in his car was making him nervous.
He was just grateful she had agreed to come with him in the first place and having Mila pack up their food wasn’t a horrible idea.
It smelled amazing and he couldn’t wait to eat it.
He drove up past Sienna’s house and then pulled off the road a little way after.
There was a trail that he hadn’t explored much, and it had a picnic table at the start of it. So he helped Karalee from the car and then led her to the table.
He put her food in front of him and she took a bite and waited for him.
“You got me here. What do you need Kian?”
Kian sighed, “First, I want to apologize to you. I never wanted to hurt you. It wasn’t my goal, and I did anyway. So, I am sorry.”
She raised her eyebrows at him, “Okay....”
“Second, I didn’t want to take back anything with you. I just made a promise to my ma. She knew I had feelings for you. That I was in love with you. And she didn’t want me to pressure you into anything. Wanted you to have the choice and you and I both were too young. And I knew that if I didn’t create distance between us, then I wouldn’t have stuck to my promise and let us both grow up. I don’t regret keeping my promise, only that you got hurt in the process.”
She had stopped eating and her mouth had dropped open in shock.
Her eyes were wide. Then she shook her head, “Wait, wait, wait. You are telling me that you're in love with me and have been for years. And that Ailith made you promise to let me grow up, so you had to keep your distance?”
He nodded, “I knew that if you were mad at me, it would be easier to stay away from you, than if you were not. If you still wanted to talk to me like we used to, it would break what little control I had. I hated hurting you. It hurt me more than I can say. And I know that it will take time for you to trust me. To trust that I am not just saying this. That I really mean it. I just couldn’t go another day without saying something.”
He ran his hand over his hair, “I just hope that you can see the reason I did what I did. It was because I loved you. To let you grow up and find the woman you are supposed to be, without me guiding your every decision. My ma knew how you never had a choice in anything. That you never wanted what happened to you growing up. And how you suffered. I knew that too and I wanted you to live your life. To be Karalee. And that someday, you can be Karalee and Kian.”
Then he stopped talking, and she sat in silence. He looked at her and she was holding back tears.
“Why didn’t you ask me what I wanted? I know Ailith wanted me to make that choice and that I was too young. I get it, I do. I just wish that you would have told me. I would have helped you. I was so in love with you Kian. You were my best friend. Just like Emery. Then you acted like I was nothing. You hurt me. So badly. And instead of talking to me, you turned your back on me, and again, gave me no choice. So I had to accept what was happening, making me suffer anyway.”
He flinched like she struck him, and she stood. “I want you to take me home please.”
He nodded and stood. Then he gathered everything back up and put it in his car.
She sat as far from him as possible, and he said, “Did I ruin it all then? Is there no hope for us at all?”
She bit her lip and then shook her head, “I don’t know. I'm in shock and don’t know what to think right now. I just need some time.”
He gave a tight nod. “I will not give up trying to win your trust. What I did was stupid and childish and I'm sorry for that.”
She nodded but stayed silent. When he pulled up to Gran’s house, she got out and headed inside to her room. Kian followed her into the house and put their food in the fridge.
He knocked on her door, “Don’t forget about Emery’s welcome home party tomorrow. Just wanted to remind you.”
She didn’t acknowledge him, and he left her be.
She knew now. And that was all that mattered.
* * *
The next day, Emery came home from the hospital and everyone was there, including their father.
He had flown in from Scotland late last night and when Emery saw him, he hurried to her side and hugged her close.
