Page 35 of Kian's Devotio
Ailith had spoken to her about it and Karalee wanted nothing more than to go to Kian right away.
She was so desperately in love with him and even though he had hurt her then, she knew he had a good reason and only wanted to respect her.
She had clenched her thighs together so hard when he told her of his thoughts.
And she was still wet and aching. He was the only boy to ever make her feel anything that way and apparently now that he was a potent, masculine man it hadn’t changed.
Except now, he could make her even more wet.
And every single day he came into the diner, she hated that she hadn’t brought a change of panties.
That his gorgeous smile and handsome face was enough to make her long to be his in every single freaking way.
And knowing he was living under the same roof as she was? Well, she had touched herself more than once in the night and had to clutch a pillow to her mouth to muffle her cries of his name.
She was so gone over him. Always had been. No other man could stack up. Not that she had looked, she just knew that he held her heart and no one else could compete with someone who stole it long ago.
Tonight, she had been so overwhelmed with him kissing her she didn’t even know how to handle it.
So, she had pushed him away and now she regretted it.
She hated seeing him so hurt and broken.
All he wanted was for her to forgive him. And she needed to figure it out soon, so she didn’t hurt him, or them more.
He deserved better than that. Tonight, she would figure out what she needed to so that she could give him her answer.
* * *
She went home that night, alone.
And she thought and thought about everything he had said and tried to remember all of his actions from when they were younger.
As she thought of what was his indifference, it wasn’t really. She remembered more than one time she thought someone was staring at her, and when she looked up, he was eating as usual.
As if he hadn’t been caught. And when they were in the same room, he had clenched his hands into tight fists and would bang them on his legs, and his leg would move up and down.
He would never talk to her aside from a few syllables, and she hated it then, but understood it now.
More than once she had seen his arm lift as though he wanted to wrap it around her and instead, he changed direction and ran it through his hair instead.
And when they were in school, some kids had been bullying her, making fun of her mom and acting like she was the same.
The next day, several of the boys had large bruises and Kian had as well. Reid too.
She never knew why they both had the bruises, and she had always wondered. Emery told her it was because they had gotten upset at each other and fought, but the brothers never did something like that.
It wasn’t like them at all. So she let it go, but hated that he had been hurt at all.
And when he told her it was a mistake to kiss her at the prom, she could now see what was heartbreak in his eyes.
That he didn’t want to mean it and hadn’t. Not really.
She lay in her bed, gasping and crying. All this time she'd been so angry with him that he could so easily abandon her, that she hadn’t seen that he didn’t abandon her. Not really.
He was doing his best to keep his promise to Ailith, but after remembering all the things he had done to not touch her, to not talk to her, that he was the one hurting.
That he didn’t want to leave her be and fought with himself daily to do just that.
