Page 44 of Kian's Devotio
He bit his lip and then sighed, “I just wanted to tell you about the fight I got in, when we were teenagers. It’s what caused my ma to tell me to be careful.”
She raised her eyebrow and he put his head down, and said, “Reid and I were walking down a hallway and heard some boys talking about you. Saying horrible things that I won’t repeat ever.”
He gave her a fierce look and she nodded, “I don’t really want to hear it, so that works. I probably already have but keep going.”
He looked at her, “I wasn’t going to let them talk about you like that. Not when you did nothing to deserve it. At all. And I snapped. I punched the kid and Reid and I got in a massive fight with those boys. And when ma came to get us from school, she sat both Reid and I down and talked to me about it, and believe me, it wasn’t easy to distance myself from you. And that was all. I did my best. I did. You know the rest. But you don’t know that since I was a teenager, I have worked and done odd jobs and saved almost all of the money I have been given, so that I could buy us a house. And let you have the life you deserve.”
His face turned soft again, “I have wanted to give you the world. I know that you have a choice, and that I will do everything I can to respect that choice. No matter what. I just hope that you can forgive me and that you can see how much I love you. Have all this time.”
Then he turned back to fix their food and put it on plates.
She had to fight to keep the emotions off her face. He had fought for her and had saved up for years to provide for her.
If that didn’t win her over before now, she would have fully from that moment on. That confession was everything to her.
He sat the plate he made for her right in front of her and then sat down one chair away from her.
She gave him a half a smile, “Why aren’t you by me?”
He shook his head, “I wanted to give you space. And not push you. I feel like that’s all I do. I keep making decisions for you and pushing you into what you aren’t ready for.”
He stood and then paced in the dining room, running his hand over his hair.
“I should have waited for you to see if you wanted to stay in the town before buying a house and should have checked.”
She stood up and walked to him and he squeezed his eyes shut as if he was afraid to see her rejection, or afraid to hear what she was going to say.
She went up on tiptoe, “When you asked me if I had a chance to think about what you said, I lied. I've been thinking of nothing but that. Then after you left the other day, I sat in my bed and realized just how much you did to try to force yourself not to touch me. That you have fought yourself for years. And I know how much you suffered. I just didn’t even realize it until I thought about it. And it made me love you more than I did before. I'm sorry that I didn’t let you know before now. I just have tried to protect my heart, but you have kept it safe all this time, haven’t you?”
Kian sagged to his knees and she was so startled by it that she stood stock still in front of him.
He put his arms around her waist and buried his face in her stomach.
She put her hands in his hair and combed them through the blonde locks.
He looked up at her, and the look on his face was something she would never forget for as long as she lived.
It was hope, love, want, wishing, and praying all in his eyes and he said, “You love me? Really?”
She nodded, “I do. I have for a long time. I just had to let myself really remember how much.”
He put his face back on her stomach and then he looked up at her again, “Thank you. I was terrified you wouldn’t want to talk to me ever again.”
She cupped his face, “Kian, I love you. I have since I was a little girl. And I knew you still did, even if I wanted to be angry. You always still showed me just how much you love me. I just was too blind to see it. But I do see it now. I think I always have, just didn’t want to admit it.”
He stood and then kissed her. He picked her up in his arms and held her close as they kissed.
Then he put her back on her chair, and sat right next to her, “Eat. Then we can move onto,” he cleared his throat, “Other things.”
She clenched her fingers together at the implications he spoke of and she ate as much as she could and then helped him clean up the kitchen.
He pulled her into his arms, “Do you want to see our bedroom?”
She gave a small nod and they walked down the hallway together with her snuggled between his strong arms.
As he walked, he showed her the house, pointing out the bathrooms, the extra bedrooms and then he made it to a bedroom at the end of the hallway.
He opened the door and she saw the mattress on the floor.
