Page 20 of The Lord who Seduced Me
Rose
London, England Dec 2nd 1812
Rose woke the next morning after the ball with her body sore. She smiled at the reminder of all they had done and wanted nothing more than to do it again.
And again. That thought heated her cheeks and she needed to get up and go to the orphanage and stop thinking of Cabe. She knew some of the children were fighting colds and harsh coughs.
She needed to help. She knew that Lily was occupied with Burk, after a frantic Brooks had come in the night and told them of Burk’s wounding, Lily had dropped everything and ran to his side.
Lydia had gone with her and helped with what she could, but now Lily was there. Tending to Burk’s wounds.
Rose prayed for Burk’s recovery as she thought of him like her brother. And she needed to go help the children.
She loved spending time with them and being someone other than who she was.
She was much like Aidan in that regard, wanting to not be ‘My Lady’ all the time, just Rose.
It was who she was deep inside, and though she had been raised as a daughter of a Duke and now the sister to one, she was happy to be home with her family on their estate and not being anyone else for the sake of the ton.
Rose pushed herself up out of bed and sighed softly. She wished that she was waking in Cabe’s arms. She longed for that, and one day she was determined to do so.
Getting off her bed, she took care of her personal needs, washing up and getting dressed.
Then she walked quickly to her mother’s room, and Rose knocked softly. They normally spent at least a few moments together every morning, and today would be no different.
Lydia called for her to enter and Rose walked in the room, shutting the door behind her.
She hurried to Lydia’s side and hugged her mother.
Lydia hugged her back, “You are headed to the orphanage today?”
Rose nodded, “Yes, I need some kind of occupation and I have missed them. After everything that happened with Burk, someone needs to be there for them. Eden has done what she can, but she is not a healer. I am. And I do not want to go to afternoon tea and talk with those ladies of the same drivel that I hate hearing. So, I go where I am needed. As you have done our entire lives.”
Lydia smiled, “You are right. I have not gone as much as I should have, but I know you will be able to do the best for those children. I am needed here and to go help Lily with anything she needs. I just do not want you to feel as if you are missing out on the social things. We came to speak with Cole, but I was hoping that you would see the ton for its wonder. And not for the shallow closed-minded people that if often has.”
Rose sighed, “I do like it mother. I promise. I just have not really met anyone other than Persephone that makes me want to change who I am. And it feels as if I do. With each ball, and each invitation to things, I feel as if my true self is slipping away.”
Lydia grabbed her hands, “Why do you keep going? You know that if you wish to leave, we will, right?”
Rose nodded, “I go because of Persephone. She needs someone to be there for her. A friend. As much as I do.”
Lydia smiled, “Are you certain she is the only reason you go?”
Rose blushed, and Lydia chuckled. “I may not leave here much, and go to society events like I used to, but I know whenever he has come around that he is the one you are meant for. Cabe is a handsome man.”
Rose bit her lip, “I know. He is. But he is also frustrating and infuriating sometimes. I love him.”
Lydia’s eyes softened and she pulled Rose in for another hug.
Then she cupped her cheek in one hand, “My sweet girl. I know you love him. Give him time. I know he will tell you all his secrets and pain. Do not give up on him. He needs you now more than ever.”
Rose’s eyebrows drew down, “How can you know that?”
Lydia smiled again, her hand still cupping Rose’s cheek. “I see more than most. Since Aidan met Rhia, I knew she was meant for him. Then Cole told us about Eden. It was as if I was finally able to open my eyes. To see my children. To know that I needed to let go of the pain of our past, and finally move on. I have been trapped in my head for too long. And I apologize for that.”
Rose went to speak, and Lydia stopped her. “No, I know I haven’t been the mother I should have been. I still cannot be at times. I just want our lives to be the best they can be. And knowing that your father is still in prison and has no hope of being released, it’s difficult. But I need to stop. I need to be the mother I long to be and see what others do not. And I have seen the way Cabe looks at you. The way that Burk looks at Lily.”
Rose smiled, “Mother, you have always been there. Seen more than most as you said. Even when life was hard you still were the best mother there was.”
