Page 61 of The Lord who Seduced Me
Cabe
Rose felt the tears gather in her eyes and she sobbed silently in her bed. His letter was everything. The words he had left were wonderful and all she had ever wanted, but at the same time, it felt as if there was a sword in her heart with how badly it hurt knowing he was gone.
They were due to leave tomorrow to go back to the country and while Rose had been excited, now she was not.
Her stomach ached, hurt so badly and she knew without a doubt that while Cabe was gone she would be a mass of nerves.
She could take it no longer and rushed to her chamber pot, retching into it.
She had nothing in her stomach, but she was so worried about Cabe, and knowing that he might not make it back to her that she retched and retched until she could not move.
She finally took a deep breath and wiped her face with a cloth with shaking hands.
Then she stood, her legs shaking as well and she made it two steps before she sank back to her knees, unable to move any further.
She pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed into them, hating that he was gone. That he could die and that she might have to live without him.
She sobbed until she had nothing left in her, and fell asleep on the floor, still breathing hard, her body trying to cry when she had nothing left to give.
When she woke, it was dark outside her room and she was finally able to get off the floor and when she did, she walked to the small settee in front of the cold fire and she stared into the dark space, sick and aching for the man she loved.
She hated that she had pushed him away so much. That they had wasted so much time not being together.
She pulled her knees up and put her head down on them and thought of Cabe.
She prayed to whatever God or whatever person was up there listening that he would come home safe to her again.
