Page 37 of The Fighter who Needed Me
Burk shook his head, “I just don’t want you to get killed. That is all. I know Carter is worried as well. We want the best for you Brooks. And have truly been trying our best to find her.”
Brooks shook his head, “I am sure that you have. And I appreciate it. Truly. I do. I just cannot go on. I am tired. And heartbroken. She broke me in the best and worst ways. I can’t seem to think straight and I feel as if I will never be the same. I miss her. Need her.”
Burk hugged him, and Brooks felt Lily do so as well. “We won’t give up. I have sent a letter to Aidan and to Cole. They will do their best to find her as well.”
Brooks nodded and pushed out of the embrace. He needed some fresh air.
Walking to his rooms, he shut the door behind him and walked to the bed. It had barely been touched in months and he felt it deep in his soul.
He was tired but could not sleep. Hungry but did not taste the food and mentally unwell.
But he could not fix it. Did not want to try.
Laying on his bed, he knew his brother was right. That Carter was as well. He did not need to fight in back alleys to get his fix.
He had to stay alive. He knew he had to. She was out there still. He needed to fix it.
To try harder. He would still fight in the ring for Carter, but he would not go out and find trouble in the streets.
He knew he was lucky this far to not have gotten seriously injured or killed, and he could not his lucky stars for that.
It had not been his intention. Everything angered him. Made him wish he could punch everyone.
Just seeing everyone’s happiness was hard on him and he had so much anger that it was necessary to get it out in a way that did not hurt his loved ones.
Sighing, he shut his eyes and then opened them, he looked around his bare room and hated the four walls more than he ever had.
He looked over at the locket he had of his parents.
The one that he had taken and hidden when his mother had wanted to sell it.
They had desperately needed the money then, but Brooks knew how important it was to her, and how she did not truly wish to sell her only possession and made certain to keep it safe.
He would rather go hungry than have his mother sell her one priceless item she possessed.
He had taken it and hidden it in a small box and then buried it in the tiny yard outside when it was pitch black outside.
He had also done that after he and Burk had been kicked out of their flat.
He had taken the few things that meant something to him and had hidden them away with the box.
He knew possessions on the streets were easy to steal when they were all you had and so he hid them away, to come back for another day when they weren’t fighting for every scrap of food they were given.
When they had gotten their first tiny flat after making some money, Brooks had gone to the small yard once again in the night and dug up the few items he had kept.
The locket was still there, wrapped carefully in the tiny box his father had carved for his mother.
The blanket she had made for him as an infant, a small journal of his mother’s handwriting and letters she had written to his father, and a few knick knacks that Burk’s mother had brought with them from Spain.
He brought them home and Burk was so happy to see the things he thought were lost to him, it made him almost tear up.
Looking at the small box with his mother’s only worldly possessions and the blanket carefully folded away so he could use it one day if he ever had a child, it made him want to weep.
She had given everything up for him. Had gone without food more than once to let him have her share and he had wanted to give her the world.
But then she had passed away and he had known what true love and sacrifice were when he too had to go without food.
He had never appreciated or loved his mother more for everything she had done for him in his short life.
