Page 6 of Navigating His Heart
And he did. Avery thought he was pretty crazy, and she didn’t know why her mom dated him in the first place.
She asked once, and her mom said, “He was charming and kind at first. I hadn’t really wanted anything to do with him at first, shocked that a man like him would want me, but he kept asking, and I finally gave in. At first, it was nice, and I thought it was love. But then, after he got what he wanted, he stopped talking to me and moved on. He ignored every message, voicemail, and email I sent,” she scoffed, “I didn’t even see him for months after, even though I found out I was pregnant with you, and his secretary told me that she would let him know.”
Avery knew her eyes had gone wide, and her mom said, “A few months after that, you were born. All he said to me -through his secretary no less,- was that he didn’t want to be on the birth certificate. That he would never want anything to do with you or me.”
Avery knew Ashton had tried to pay her off, but Aynsley wouldn’t take any of his money. That was when Jessica stepped in and paid for everything her mom needed and more, and because of that, Avery could get into a good daycare, and they had a nicer apartment than most.
Every year, Jessica would visit them, take them on really fun vacations, and see all the things they wanted to see together.
When they went on these amazing trips with Jessica, they both asked her mom why she didn't date, and her mom laughed, "Ashton turned me off of relationships, to be honest. He wasn't malicious or anything -until the end-, but he wasn’t the nicest either. I didn’t know he was married, and the fact that he could hide it so well was hard for me. He had an entire family that he kept hidden, and yet, as soon as he was done with me, he moved on, and I know he has been with at least twenty other women since I found out I was pregnant. If not more. Thankfully he didn’t have more kids. Well, not that I know of anyway. And that’s a reason why I'm okay with not being in a relationship. Besides, I have you. You make my life complete. I don't want to devote my life to a man when I have my daughter; that is my priority. If I wanted to date, I would. I promise."
Avery nodded, hugging her mom, "You don't feel like you are sacrificing anything because of me though?"
Aynsley laughed, "Not at all honey. I'm happy where I am. I got you out of it and I wouldn’t change it for the world."
Avery quirked her eyebrow at her mom, and she laughed harder, "I promise, honey. I'm happy, and if I wanted to date, I could. I just am happy to not. I'm not scared of men, but I don't think I need one to complete me. I have everything I have ever wanted and needed. I'm not missing out on anything, and besides, I haven't found a man that makes me want everything. Your father was kind and all at first, but I just gave in because he did so much, and I believed I was in love with him. I wasn't. Not really. I have seen real love and what we had wasn't it. Not even close. So, if I ever try again, I need that from the man I want to date again. To feel that spark."
Avery thought, "Who did you see that was really in love?"
Aynsley grinned, "My parents, my grandparents, and your father’s parents, Jessica and Martin. They all were so in love. You could see it even if someone was blind. The three couples I looked up to the most because of their amazing love.”
Her smile changed to nostalgia, “I remember that my grandparents were so very in love from when they were teenagers until the day they died. I knew then and there that I wanted a love like that, and I convinced myself I had that with your father. I knew better. Saw the signs that it wasn’t love, but I didn't stop it. Became blind to the red flags that waved in my face.”
She rolled her eyes at her folly, then she went on with her story, “I saw Martin and Jessica together a few times before Martin died. They had such a connection; it seemed like they could read each other’s thoughts. It was so horrible when Martin died. Everyone was heartbroken over his death. No one more so than your grandma. She suffered so much, and I know she never moved on. Even though he’s been gone since just a few months after you were born. That’s the kind of love I want. And since I haven’t found it, I’m content. I have you. But I wish I knew what it was like to have that kind of love. Someday maybe."
She shrugged, and then she looked down at Avery, "I want you to be careful when you start dating. Boys can be good and want to treat you well, but you have to be careful and think things through. Don't just do what I did and give in because he is kind. Make sure he is really the one for you. Take your time. Get to know his character and who he really is. Then decide. And if you don't feel the spark, he isn't really yours. You will know. Trust me. You will know."
Avery thought about that conversation for a long time. She knew her mom was right.
She even asked her grandma once about Martin and Ashton and why she cut him off.
Jessica smiled, “Martin was the love of my life. He and I were so alike, so in tune with one another. The love we shared was something from a fairy tale. It was everything. He was always there for me, always gave me the time I wanted, and he and I built a life that people envied. I miss him every single day.”
Jessica went quiet, then said, “Ashton hasn’t realized that his legacy is more important than women. He married young, and realized that he wasn’t done sowing his wild oats. He has kept sowing those oats and left his wife and four boys at home. He didn’t care that he was potentially leaving children behind with each one-night stand he had, all that mattered was that he got what he wanted but then he was done. He has been like that his entire life.”
She rolled her eyes, “If I gave him a toy, he would touch it for a few days, and then he would never look at it again. Nothing was enough for him. And his wife is much the same. She turns a blind eye so that she can keep getting the money he throws her way. She hasn’t been happy knowing about you, and tried to make me stop seeing you. But I let her know in no uncertain terms that she isn’t in charge of this family. Or the money. I was. She had no say. Plus, I know how much it bothers her that I don’t care about her horrible boys. They aren’t worth my time. I used to try when they were younger, but I stopped when they threw fits about money and I knew that they weren’t worth it any longer.”
She reached out and cupped Avery’s face, “You and Aynsley have never once asked me for money. You don’t need that. You aren’t materialistic and I love that about you. That I could give you something and you would appreciate it. I knew that you would love me for me. Not for what I can give you. I have always wanted that. Wanted someone to love me as my Martin did. He came from money, but he wasn’t spoiled like Ashton was. And I knew that was my failing. That we were busy with our business and he was raised by other people. We gave him as much time as we could. But it was never enough for Ashton. He always wanted more, and if we didn’t give him more, he would throw fits about it. And it will always be my biggest regret. But just know, that we loved him in our way. Martin was so good to Ashton, I thought it would show him how to be, but he didn’t want to change. He was who he was, and Ashton wouldn’t let it go. Martin loved our son and yet, when he got sick, Ashton couldn’t be bothered to help him or be around. He said that he would take over the business and that’s what he was doing for us. He was groomed for it after all.”
Jessica shook her head, “He took it over all right. And almost ran it into the ground. He gambled a lot, going through his money like it was nothing. Skimming off the top of the books and hurting the business we spent so long building. After Martin died, I stepped in, taking over the business again, and to this day, I still refuse to give him the business. Not again.”
Avery smiled, knowing that her grandmother was stubborn enough that she would stay alive and work herself into the ground so that Ashton couldn’t take over.
Avery loved it. Jessica hugged her then, going back to her life, to the running of her company, and Avery missed her.
Jessica had been busy for the last two years, and Avery hadn’t seen her grandma as much, but Jessica told her that she would be coming in a few days to spend time with them.
Aynsley was excited to see her, and Avery loved that she and Jessica had a close relationship.
Talking with her grandma and learning more about her dad and how awful he was to his own family and that he cared more about himself than anyone else was hard. She wished that he was different sometimes.
Some of the kids reminded her of her dad, and she didn’t like that, and she wanted so badly to believe that one day she would find a man that would treat her like a queen.
Like both of her grandpa’s did with her grandmother’s. She hadn’t ever felt that spark when she talked to boys at school.
They were nice and cute, but never once did she think of more when she saw them.
She didn't feel the spark like her mom said. And she knew that she wanted that. She didn't want to settle for second best when she could have the best.
