Page 61 of Black
I lay awake trying to suppress how good it had felt to have her in my lap and feel her complete trust as she cuddled up against me.
For seven nights I had slept next to her and woken up with her in my arms. It was as certain as the sunrise that during the night we would find each other and when we woke we would be entangled.
I liked it… a bit too much.
We still had another week to go, and I was getting worried that I might do something stupid in my sleep.
Last night I had woken up spooning her, and unseemly thoughts had entered my mind and made me frustrated enough that I got up and went for a run to get control of myself.
I really wanted to give Cia the gift of a man’s full attention like Bruce had asked of me, but I was seriously worried I might end up screwing the whole thing up by offering her the wrong type of attention.
Looking down at Cia sleeping peacefully, I wanted to kiss her, and that’s when I knew I had to do something desperate.
I got up and sneaked out, taking a few minutes to wait just outside the room to make sure Cia was still sleeping, and not calling for me.
When I was sure Cia was fine, I went to the one person who could help me take off some of the pressure. Therese welcomed me into her cabin. We had been flirting for a week and she had invited me over several times.
“What took you so long?” she asked with a charming smile and tossed her long auburn hair back.
I didn’t talk but took a few steps closer and kissed her like the hungry, desperate man I was.
Therese kissed me back. She was beautiful and old enough to understand what this was about.
“Are you on birth control?” I asked.
“No, but I have condoms,” she whispered back.
“I can’t offer you anything serious,” I told her.
“I know,” she said and winked. “I’m cool with that.”
“Good.” I picked her up and carried her the few steps to the bed, where we undressed each other and played around. Therese was fun and uncomplicated. I got what I needed, which was release from the pressure I had felt. I took her twice that night and even though I didn’t intend to, I fell asleep in her bed and didn’t wake until a sunbeam hit my face.
Cia!It was the first thought that hit me, and I scrambled out of Therese’s bed and dressed in a hurry.
There wasn’t more than a hundred feet between Therese’s cabin and ours but I still ran, hoping to get there before Cia woke up. When I came close enough to see the porch, I knew I had failed.
Cia sat outside, wrapped in the large blanket from our bed, with eyes red from crying. The disappointment on her face when she saw me tore my heart out.
“Hey, sweetie, what are you doing out here?” I asked in a pretend happy tone.
She looked away.
I took the two steps up and kneeled down in front of her. “I woke early, so I decided on a morning walk,” I lied.
She dried a tear away and still refused to talk to me.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked, knowing the answer full well. “Come on, it’s only six a.m.; we can still catch a few more hours of sleep.” I reached to caress her face and was shocked at how cold she felt. Why hadn’t I noticed how blue her lips were and how she was shivering? My eyes narrowed. “How long have you been sitting out here?”
Her voice shook because her teeth chattered when she answered. “Long en-enough to know your mor-morning walk has lasted more than seven hours and that it en-ended up in Therese’s bed,” she said and tried to get up.
I wanted to help her but she batted my hands away. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed. “I have a pre-pretty good idea where your hands have been and I don-don’t want you to touch me ever again.”
I was angry with myself and knew I had screwed up. I should have been wise and mature enough to just admit it, but I was neither; I fell back on the old “offense is the best defense” and sneered back at her. “Don’t act like a jealous girlfriend, Cia. I have needs you can’t fulfill, and I don’t fucking belong to you.”
She stumbled to her feet, which was hard because of the large blanket from our bed that she was wrapped in. When she finally got up, she staggered down the steps and away from me. I could see her bare feet making imprints in the grass wet with morning dew.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” I called after her.
