Page 95 of Black
“You trust me, right?” G asked softly.
“Yes.”
“Then what is it?” he asked and placed a kiss on my naked shoulder.
“I don’t think I’ll be very good at it,” I said almost inaudibly.
“What?” Gabriel asked and lifted my face with a hand under my chin. “What did you say, sweetie?”
“I don’t think you’ll like it.”
A smile reached his gorgeous brown eyes. “You don’t think I’ll like being with you?”
His smile made me feel stupid; it wasn’t funny at all. This was a big mistake and I wanted to get up and leave. What was I thinking? Making out with Gabriel would just make things awkward between us. A long time ago, I had attempted to make out with Daniel and it had been a complete failure, with me closing down and lying as passively as a stiff board.
“I’m not good with intimacy,” I explained and pushed away from him.
“Don’t do that.” He reached out for me. “You’re just scared, babe, but don’t believe for one second that you’re no good at intimacy. You’re talking to the man who woke up completely entangled with you every morning for two weeks, remember?
“That was different.”
“How so?”
“Because it wasn’t anything sexual. I’m not a very sexual person,” I suggested.
“Really?” He arched a brow. “And what are you basing that assumption on?”
“I’m not interested in sex and I just don’t get turned on easily.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was twenty-one and only two guys had ever gotten close enough to kiss me, and Gabriel was the only man to evoke real desire in me. Typical, that my thoughts of inferiority would pop up at the most inopportune moment and crush the fire that had been burning between us a few moments ago.
“I can turn you on,” Gabriel claimed. “If you give me a chance.”
“Trust me, you’re not missing out on anything. Daniel once tried, and I sucked at it.” I was trying to put my bra back on, and it gave me an excuse to avoid looking at him.
“I’m not Daniel.” His hard tone made me lift my gaze. “And I don’t want to hear about you being with other men when I’m standing here with a raging boner and you’re pulling away from me.”
“It’s not you. Don’t you get it? It’s me!” I exclaimed forcefully. “There’s something wrong with me, you should know by now how fucked-up I am.”
Gabriel was deeply frustrated; it radiated from him. “Why won’t you at least give me a chance to prove to you that I can make this pleasant for you?”
"I’m sorry. But I just can’t.”
“You mean you won’t,” he said and turned on his heel.
Two minutes later I heard the TV in the living room and picked up my courage to walk in and sit down next to him.American Ninja Warriorswas on, and one after one, brave men competed for the title by pushing themselves to the limit through some insane obstacles.
“Ouch,” I said with a grimace when one of the guys took a nasty fall. “How come there are no women competing?” I asked.
“There are a few, but in general women aren’t strong enough.”
We watched another handful of fit guys struggle, and only one of them made it all the way through.
“Finally… a woman,” I said when a short woman came on the screen looking super fit. “I bet she can do it.”
“No way,” Gabriel snorted. “She’s too short.”
