Page 7 of The Mentor
Frustrated, Boulder came closer. “All right,” he said and pointed a finger at Archer. “But you better not do something stupid, okay?”
“I wouldn’t,” Archer promised.
“I’m only doing this because I originally suggested you for the role as her protector.” Boulder pinned Archer with his eyes. “This remains our secret, okay? If Magni finds out he’s going to shit a sheep.”
Shit a sheep? My eyebrows rose at the expression that I’d never heard before, and after Boulder made Archer give his solemn promise twice that he wouldn’t hurt me, and we were on our way, I asked him about it.
“How does someone shit a sheep?”
Archer tilted his head. “Huh! That’s a good question, I never thought about it, but I suppose one would hope the sheep was digested properly or it would be painful.”
We had been walking in the woods for about five minutes, talking about my favorite foods in the Motherlands, when I suddenly remembered Christina telling me there were bears in the area. That thought made me stop. “Ehhm, Archer, are you sure we should do this? What about the bears?”
“Don’t worry, this island only has black bears, and they are skittish and don’t eat humans.”
“But they could still attack us, right?”
“Come on,” he said, waiting for me to start walking again. “They’ll hear us from a mile away and won’t come close. I promise you that the bears like us even less than we like them.”
“And you know the way back to the school, right?” I looked back trying to remember where we had turned.
“Yes, don’t worry.”
“Okay.” We walked on but my eyes darted around looking for signs to remember in case we got lost, but everything looked more or less the same. When I heard a sound, I clamped my hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Did you hear that?”
Archer stopped to listen but the sound was gone. “You know,” he said with a frown, “if you don’t want to do this, we can turn back now.”
“No, I just…” I paused and cleared my throat, giving him an uncertain smile, unwilling to let go of his strong shoulder. “…I just never went hiking in the woods at night and I’m more of a city girl to begin with.”
“Nothing is going to happen. I do this all the time and I swear to protect you if we’re attacked.”
“Thank you,” I said and because I’m naturally inclined to touch people, I grabbed his wrist as we moved on.
Archer didn’t seem to mind and comforted me with the words: “It’s only a few more minutes, and if you want I can tell you a joke to make it less scary.”
“Yes, tell me a joke.”
“Okay,” Archer gave me a sideways glance. “An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
“‘I’ve got to ask, sir,’ says the bartender. ‘What happened?’
“The old guy sighs and tells him, ‘I’m a sailor and once, when my ship hit an iceberg and sank, I was rescued by a mermaid. She promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return home. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid.’ The old man sighed. ‘Only it turns out that mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head instead.’” Archer grinned and looked expectantly toward me.
“Why would he wish for a little head?” I asked with confusion.
Archer gave me an incredulous look. “It’s a sexual reference, Kya.”
“Really? I’ve never heard that expression before. What kind of sex are we talking about?” I asked, studying his head to imagine what exactly the sailor had wanted.
“Ehhm, the oral kind.”
“Ohh, right.” I nodded but in truth I was still confused about his terminology, and we walked a little in silence.
“Look,” Archer said and broke my thoughts.
At first I didn’t see them, but when we got a little closer they were everywhere. Fireflies playing tag in the air above us and around us, lightning up like little fairies too fast to catch.
“Wow, they’re beautiful,” I breathed in awe and stretched a finger in the air, hoping one would land on it and let me study it. “They’re like little Tinker Bells!”
