Page 40 of The Seducer
“I think she’s around forty.”
“Ah, okay, but it’s still crazy how much Tristan looks like me.”
“Maybe his eyes,” I agreed.
“I didn’t see the resemblance,” Hans said from the sofa where he had gotten out a large book.
“That’s because I look a lot different now than I did when I was fourteen.”
“Finn.” Closing the oven door, I set my timer and returned my focus to him. “I know what you’re doing, but striking up a conversation about Tristan won’t make me forget what I asked you to do.”
With a heavy sigh, Finn rolled his eyes. “Isn’t there something else we can do? I really don’t want to sit down and write about myfeelings.” He spoke the last word as if it was dirty.
“You choose!” I said. “What do you want to do first? Meditate or write your report?”
“Can’t we just skip both and go straight to eating cake?”
“No.”
“Will we be holding hands while meditating again?”
I took a second to marvel at how fast Finn could go from complaining to being flirtatious, and it only heightened my suspicion that he was using mixed signals to confuse me and humor to distract me. Someone else might take Finn for a transparent womanizer, but I sensed there were protective layers beneath that.
“Sure, we can hold hands if it helps to anchor you.”
“Anchor me.” He grinned. “How about we get naked, andIanchoryou,” Finn suggested with a chuckle. “What do you say?”
Watching him with curiosity, I took a calculated risk to test him. “Maybe we can do that tonight.” My tone was calm and I paid attention to the way his jaw stiffened. It was only a split second before he recovered, shooting me a wide smile.
“But right now we’ll just meditate with our clothes on,” I added.
Finn nodded. “Okay, but you just say the word and I and myanchorwill be ready.”
“I saidmaybe,” I repeated and looked over at Hans. “Do you want to be in on a triple bond meditation?”
Hans lit up. “Sure.”
“Hey, wait a minute, Athena,” Finn said quickly. “I’m all fun and games if you want a threesome, but we’ve got to set some ground rules.” His eyes darted between me and Hans. “I’m not into men and the only person I’ll be having sex with is Athena.”
Hans frowned in confusion and I simply gave him a patient smile.
“Finn, would you let go of your obsession with sex for a second? I’m talking about a triple meditation on the floor. A small circle of calmness where we combine our energies.”
Finn’s face fell. “Ah, I see.”
This time I let the two men move the sofa away, while I put on relaxing music, and waited for them to sit down and create a small circle with me.
“Come closer,” I instructed Finn, until his knee was pressing against my knee. “Good, now take our hands and close your eyes.” I cracked one eye open to make sure he was following my instructions.
“This time we’re going to meditate on our past. We’re going to take deep breaths and let whatever our consciousness wants to show us surface. Instead of pushing it away, we’ll simply observe it and remember that a memory is just a thought and that it holds no true power over us. We are here in this circle of friends and we are safe.” I took a long deep breath and blew out in a long slow exhale.
“Whatever spiritual disturbance you feel, examine it. What patterns does it come with? Does it make you feel like crying, running away, or does it evoke anger or shame? Maybe it’s a good memory, and that’s fine. Try to hold no judgment as you let it rise and fall before you release it.”
Finn squirmed next to me.
“Breathe in and out. In and out,” I said with each long inhalation and exhalation.
Once I’d done my introduction, I let myself sink slowly to that place where I didn’t feel my body but existed only within the vibrant energy that connects all living things. My heartbeat slowed and I took in the two very different vibrations coming at me. Hans’ energy was a stable humming, untroubled and light in nature.
