Page 54 of The Seducer
We didn’t do much that day, except meditating, talking, and relaxing. Athena kept pushing me to sit down and put my words down on a pad. What she didn’t understand was that I had spent my whole adult life suppressing my emotions and now she was asking me to reflect on my emotions.
It wasn’t that I have no feelings; I had too many fucking feelings and they lurked just under the surface, with the power to drag me down in the darkness with them.
“Here,” I said and handed Athena the electronic pad I had used to scribble on.
“You don’t have to show me what you wrote.”
“Wait, so you’re not going to grade my effort? That’s disappointing. If I had known that I wouldn’t have tried so hard.”
Athena’s gaze lowered to the pad in her hands, and then her eyebrows lifted in perfect arches. “Your favorite moment here was when I rode your…” she looked up at me. “I’m not going to say that word.”
“What, my cock?”
Athena closed her eyes for a second before she uttered a sigh and looked at me. “You were supposed to reflect on what happened these past days, and not on what you fantasized about.”
Lifting my shoulders in a shrug, I said, “You should’ve specified that.”
Athena returned her gaze to her pad again. “What most surprised you in the Motherlands was that we don’t have any eggs.”
“Or chickens,” I added. “But let’s not get caught up in the whole ‘which came first, the chicken or the egg’ debate. I just wish I could have an omelet in the morning, that’s all.”
Athena was running over my answers and was clearly not impressed. “You’re using your humor as a shield, Finn. These are supposed to be deep questions, yet you have answered each one with fewer than ten words.”
“I worked hard on the last question. What was it again?”
Athena read out loud, “What I want my people to know about the Motherlands is this.”
“Yes, that’s the one. I gave a brilliant answer.”
Athena looked down. “You should always check their fridge to look for leftover pie, or you will end up eating disgusting kale for breakfast.” Athena put the pad down on the sofa and got up without a word.
“What?” I asked. “That was solid advice, and it was way more than ten words.”
“Hans,” she called up the stairs. “You want to go out to dinner with me?”
“Sure,” he called back and came down a few seconds later. “Where are we going?”
“There’s a restaurant I’ve been wanting to try for a while,” Athena said, looking only at him.
“Great.” Hans went to grab his jacket and smiled at me. “Then you get to see some of the Motherlands.”
“I’m afraid not,” Athena said in a soft but serious voice. “I was planning for all of us to go, but Finn still has some reflection work to do, and it turns out he prefers leftover food anyway.” She pointed to the fridge. “You’ll find some pancakes and fruit salad in there. We should be back in less than two hours.”
Crossing my arms, I rocked back and forth on my heels. “I see what you’re doing.”
“Excellent, then you’ll appreciate that I’m giving you time to think things through.”
“I’m not supposed to leave him alone,” Hans said and wrung his hands.
“I know, but you will.”
When Hans still looked skeptical, Athena added. “Don’t worry, Finn is an adult and he can take care of himself for a few hours.”
Like the trained puppy Hans was, he followed Athena out the door and left me to reflect on my miserable past.
CHAPTER 17
Human Shield
