Page 62 of The Seducer
“I was wondering if there is maybe something I can help you with before I leave tomorrow.”
“Like what?” She turned, and it hurt to see her eyes so sad.
“I don’t know, maybe I could do some work around the house, or remove a spider or something. I’m an excellent handyman.” I gave her my most charming smile, but it only made her turn away from me again.
“I just figured that with you living out here on your own, maybe I could be of service.”
“Thank you, but there’s no need.”
“Not even a little?” I asked.
“I’m not afraid of spiders, and women have survived in the Motherlands without handymen for centuries.”
“I was just trying to be nice,” I mumbled and looked at Hans. “Hey, Hansi, you wanna hear a joke?”
He directed a worried glance in Athena’s direction, before he nodded.
“How does a man show that he is planning for the future?”
Hans shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“He buystwocases of beer,” I said and laughed at my own joke.
Hans smiled. “I know a joke too; you want to hear it?”
“Sure.”
“All right. So, a girl and a boy sit together in a bathtub. The girl looks down and asks, ‘Can I touch it?’ The boy covers his penis and says, ‘No, you already broke yours off!’” The best part of Hans’ joke was his loud hyena grin that was spiced with a snort.
I sat with a wide smile on my face and watched in amusement when he rocked back and forth, clapping his hands on his thighs.
Athena wasn’t laughing, so Hans explained his joke to her. “You know because she’s a girl and she never had a penis.” He dried away a tear and gave another snort of laughter. “But the boy didn’t know that.”
She rewarded him with a smile that never reached her eyes before she looked at me.
“Do you know any jokes about men who can’t show their feelings?" she asked.
“Did you say can or can’t?” I asked.
“Never mind.” Athena pointed to Hans. “Should we do our meditation before the kids get here?
“Sure.” The two of them moved to the floor, without a second glance in my direction.
“Hey, aren’t you going to invite me to join you?” I asked.
“No, not today. You are off the hook.”
That bothered me because even though meditation wasn’t my favorite thing to do, I was beginning tonot hate it, and I didn’t like the idea of Athena bonding with the sparkly turtle instead of me. “Oh, I see, because you are upset with me for not showing enough emotions?”
Athena placed the mat on the floor, all her movements mirrored by Hans, who looked uncomfortable with my confrontational manner.
“Well, here’s the thing, Athena, if you wonder where all the kind and considerate men are – you know, the ones that will share their feelings with you over a cup of herbal tea – then I have the answer for you,” I said with a sugar-sweet smile.
She sat down on her mat and gave me a steady glance. “Do tell.”
I delivered my answer with a dose of sarcasm. “Those men are all busy fucking their boyfriends.”
Taking in a deep sigh, Athena pointed to my jacket on the wall. “I know it’s snowing, but I would appreciate it if you took your curse words outside.”
