Page 119 of The Warrior
“I won a tournament,” I said through gritted teeth and shoved him away from me. “Men have gone from rags to riches plenty of times. If you didn’t win that’s onyou. Unless you entered and fought, I don’t want to hear your complaints.”
“Tournaments cost money and you only end up dead.” He flicked his finger up and down to underline his point. “Rich people should be forced to share their money with the rest of us.”
“Right. Because you’re so fucking great at sharing. Maybe you wouldn’t be so poor if you sold your beers instead of drinking them all yourself.”
“Fucking royal prince, coming here to lecture me.” The old idiot muttered and shuffled his feet again when he moved away from me. “Thinks he’s better than us.”
“You’re damn right I’m better than you. At least I clean my teeth, and I don’t talk to myself like a crazy person.”
The minute I said it, I remembered talking to myself in the forest.Shit!
While tearing food items from his shelves, I lashed out at him. “You’re just a bitter old man who’s lost touch with reality. Why don’t you take some responsibility instead?”
“It’s notmyfault. It’s their fault.” He pointed out the window as if talking about the whole world, and when he thought I wasn’t looking he pulled up a beer from under his counter and emptied it.
“He’s just a drunken bastard,” I muttered to calm myself down, and frowned when I realized I’d just spoken out loud to myself again.
“You can only buy two of those.” The old grease ball sneered when I emptied his stack of dried beef sticks.
“I’m getting all of them.” I smacked the items I’d found onto his counter and he rang them up with grunts and low cuss words.
“I dare you to say that louder to my face, old man.”
Lucky for him, he had enough self-control to keep his mouth shut.
I left there with enough provisions to last me a week. After loading my things in my drone, I looked over at the store and was tempted to walk back to correct thefresh food and friendly servicesign to a more honest version sayingfood and no service.
“Fuck, I really need to get my shit together.”
A crazy person like that wouldn’t rile my feathers on a normal day, so why did I let him get under my skin like that?
The answer was evident, even to me. That crazy, bitter man in the store would be me in thirty years if I stayed here. I was only three weeks into my solitude and I’d already begun talking to myself. If I weren’t careful, soon I’d be blaming the whole world for my misery instead of taking responsibility.
I already am,a voice in the back of my head whispered, but I wasn’t ready to hear it and pushed it down. After all, I wouldn’t be in this bloody situation if it weren’t because of Christina, Pearl, Khan, Laura, and all the other people. It was alltheirfault.
CHAPTER 31
Missing Magni
Laura
Pearl kept me busy and I knew why. She didn’t want me to sink deeper into my depression over losing Magni. Over the last month I’d practiced functioning like a normal person – talking, eating, and sleeping – while the real Laura lay bleeding in a corner of my soul. I would smile but there was no joy. I would ask questions but there was no real interest. I was playing my role and keeping up a façade for survival.
For a long time, I’d been determined not to be controlled and bossed around by Magni. Now that he was gone, I realized how much easier he had made my life.
With Magni I’d never worried about my safety. His warm body had given me comfort at night, and at day he’d been my protector. Even when he was gone on missions, his eye for detail had made sure that I was protected by his most trusted soldiers.
My façade of bravado was draining, but I kept it up for Mila, who had her own grief and didn’t understand why he never called or came to visit her anymore.
The truth was that I was a wreck.
At night I cried into Magni’s t-shirt. I tossed and turned, with my mind going over everything that I wished I could take back or do in a different way. My appetite was gone and I blamed myself for losing him. April and Laila Michelle blamed me too. My sister had painted worst case scenarios about never seeing Magni again, and insisted that my best option was to remarry. “Maybe your next husband can control you better,” she’d said and the idea of someone else claiming ownership of me, made me sick. I didn’t want to remarry. I wanted Magni, but April was stating the obvious. Women didn’t live alone in the Northlands, and if Magni didn’t come back for me, I would be forced to marry someone else. The thought made my stomach cramp with pain and my head was spinning with plans on how to escape if that happened. Maybe I could go to Alaska and search for Magni. Maybe I could somehow make him care about me again.
“Laura, did you hear me?” Pearl asked and touched my elbow.
I blinked my eyes. “What? Sorry, I just lost my concentration for a second.”
“Do you want to take a break? We’ve been working hard all morning.”
