Page 91 of The Fighter
I gave a sad smile. “I’ll make sure to thank Magni for that when I see him again.” If the doctors were right, there was a seventy percent chance that I’d never see Magni again, and the thought made me look down.
We were quiet for a while as I let my fingers caress and play with Leo’s dark beard.
“Raven, you know what?”
“What?”
“I’ve never had a female friend before.”
With my eyebrows raised up, I reminded him, “I offered to be your friend. It was you who kept insisting that you couldn’t be anything but my boss.”
Leo groaned. “I know that, but I was in a tough situation with everyone expecting me to keep you safe and with you messing with my mind. This thing about men and women being friends…”
“What about it?”
“I wouldn’t know how to do it. I’m not gonna lie. I want so much more than friendship from you.”
“Leo…”
“Yes, I know. You’re not ready for marriage and I’m your boss…” He played with my hand before looking into my eyes. “I wish I wasn’t, though. I wish I…”
I waited for him to continue but he just sighed.
“You wish I wasyourboss?”
My attempt to cheer him up worked and Leo gave a small laugh followed by a grimace of pain. “Ehhm, no, absolutely not.”
“Well, I’m just trying to guess here since you’re giving me half sentences. Now you have me wondering what it is that you wish for.”
Without words, Leo buried his head against the crook of my neck and entwined our fingers. It was something I had done as a child when I longed for safety, and because I’d lived in the Northlands since I was eleven years old, I knew how rare it was to see such vulnerability from an Nman. With my free hand, I nuzzled his earlobe and neck, appreciating how hard it must be for him to show weakness. Leo was a strong alpha with men looking up to him as a leader and a role model. I was smaller and much younger than him, but in that moment, I felt respected as his equal, a partner, and a friend. It made my heart overflow with gratitude and respect for him.
“You know what it is that I wish for.” He spoke the words against my neck, which made them sound muffled.
“You wish we could be more than friends.”
“Uh-huh.” His lips placed gentle kisses on my collarbone.
“Wearemore than friends, Leo.”
“I know that, but being your lover will never be enough for me, Raven.” Leo let his finger twirl around a strand of my hair before inhaling deeply and speaking on his exhalation, “I want all of you!”
“Say it again.” I had been a neglected child once, with an absent mom who couldn’t cope with me. Not until I was adopted by Christina and Boulder had I felt wanted. Fear of abandonment should have no room inside me anymore, but like a ghost from the past, I felt it reach out for the deeply healing and satisfying words that Leo wanted all of me.
“I mean it. I want all of you. Not just the hot sex but the whole package.” His finger trailed from my hair down my shoulder and arm.
“I’m not giving up my dream of being the first policewoman.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to.” Leo lifted our entwined fingers and kissed the back of my hand. “I’m not stupid. Being your man will be challenging and scary. If you become a police officer, I’ll worry about you night and day.”
“You already do that.”
“True, but that’s because I…”
Again, he trailed off and it made me poke at his shoulder. “Can you please finish your sentences?”
“Okay but don’t freak out.”
“I won’t.”
