Page 5 of The Pacifist
“No, actually, I’ve been saying ‘no’ for over four months, and you people keep bringing it up.”
I sank deeper into the pillow behind me and changed the subject. “Jonah is leaving tomorrow.”
“Good.” My dad placed his right arm across his chest and I knew that if he’d had his left arm still, he would have been crossing them.
“Hey, that’s not nice. Jonah has been nothing but kind to you.”
My dad sighed. “I’m just grumpy and Jonah is getting on my fucking nerves.”
“Why?”
“Because he…” Magni sighed again. “He keeps pestering me with questions that I don’t have answers to.”
“He just wants to help. We all do.”
“I know that, but talking to Jonah always gives me a headache. He’s like Pearl. I think it comes with being a Council member in the Motherlands. They ask too many questions and are always so god damn nosy about other people’s feelings. It’s annoying.”
I tilted my head. “They’re not nosy, Dad. They just show a genuine interest in people, that’s all.”
“What’s the difference?”
I sighed. “Mother Nature, you truly are grumpy. Are you hungry?”
“No. I told you, I’m bored.”
“How about a movie then?”
“I’m sure you have better things to do than be stuck in this room with me.”
“Dad.” I let my hand caress his long scruffy beard. “You don’t have to be stuck in this room. I could take you out in the park. We have the hoverchair. And what about tonight when Khan announces the first democratic election in the Northlands? You should be there.”
With his right hand, Magni pushed himself higher on the bed and gave me a stern expression. “You know I won’t let my men see me like this. I can follow the announcement from here.” He nodded to the interactive wall.
“But…”
“It’s not up for discussion!” He looked straight ahead, signaling that he was done talking about it.
“This is what you fought with Mom about, isn’t it?”
“Yes, and I don’t know why you’re taking her side.”
“Because you can’t hide in here forever. That’s why.” When he gave me the cold shoulder, I got out of the bed and stood to watch him for a second. “Dad, you know we all love you. Seeing you hurting is hurting us too. No one is going to think less of you because you got injured. It wasn’t your fault.”
My dad’s voice was raw when he answered, “Mila, I know you mean well but you can never fully understand what it means to be a proud Nman. No one will say it to my face but they all feel sorry for me.” His voice rose in volume. “I don’t want any fucking pity!”
I lowered my head, feeling bad about having upset him when my intention had been to cheer him up. “I’ll get you some snacks from the kitchen.”
“Don’t bother. I’m not hungry.”
“You’ve lost weight.”
“Yeah, about a hundred pounds of legs and an arm.”
“It’s not funny.”
Magni gave me a dry look. “No, it’s not.”
I left his room with a heavy feeling in my body. At least today, my dad hadn’t screamed and thrown things around.
