Page 76 of The Pacifist
Magni looked around to Laura, Raven, Leo, and me. “Okay, tell you what, if Jonah walks up to a roaring grizzly bear and makes friends with it, I’ll record a video telling the whole world how impressed I am.”
Khan looked straight into Magni’s eyes. “He already did.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I would have heard about it.” Magni snorted and waved a hand dismissively.
Khan’s face was impassive. “You were there. To the Motlanders you’re that scary bear and Jonah made friends with you.”
Magni frowned and then he narrowed his eyes. “I hate it when you speak in metaphors.”
“If the Council members believe that Jonah has done the impossible, they will respect him. And if they are smart, they’ll keep him on, thinking he can influence us.”
Magni looked thoughtful. “You think it’ll work?”
“Of course it will work, I’m a genius.”
I watched my dad and uncle. “What about the scrutiny that you’re going to face at home when people see that you two were influenced by a Motlander Council member? Remember when you announced the election and the journalists kept asking about that. It’s going to bite you in the butt.”
“Mila is right.” My dad gave me a nod of recognition and tapped his temple. “Maybe my daughter is the real genius here.”
Khan crossed his arms and scoffed. “Obviously, we’ll have to make sure the video is seen only by the Council and not in public.”
“There’s still the risk that a video like that would get leaked or at least talked about,” Leo warned. “Don’t get me wrong. I want to help Jonah too, but are you willing to risk losing your power in the Northlands to help secure Jonah’s in the Motherlands?”
Magni looked at Khan. “No.”
Khan had that faraway glance in his eyes telling me that his head was spinning with thoughts.
“You’re not risking our position to help Jonah,” Magni repeated.
I leaned back in the couch. “It might be worth it from an equality standpoint. I mean no matter who wins the election in the Northlands, a man will rule. If Jonah loses his seat on the Council it might push back the chance to have equality on the Council for decades.”
Khan shook his head. “I’ll come up with a way to secure both him and us.” Standing up in a fast movement, he walked out of the room. “Where did Pearl go? I need to discuss this with her.”
I looked back at the wall, where Jonah was still answering questions. Even without sound it was clear that the Councilwomen were critical and he was doing his best to defend his position. “I feel bad for him.”
My dad nodded. “Yeah, when you talk to him, tell him that, worst case, he can always come live here in the Northlands. At least here, he can drink, gamble, and race as much as he wants to. We’ll help him pack on some more muscle to fit in.”
I felt emotional just from talking about Jonah, and changed the subject to something I knew would work. “What about Mason, Aubri, and Dina? When are they coming home? I miss my little troopers, and talking with them long distance isn’t the same as being together.”
My parents exchanged a glance and I sensed that they had debated this topic recently. “Honey, your dad and I are hoping to bring them back home in a few days.”
“Good!” Getting up, I hugged them all and withdrew to my room with an excuse of being tired.
My dogs were happy to snuggle up with me on my bed and, surrounded by their warm bodies, I thought about how amazing Jonah had been today. His strong personality and high level of confidence made him the most attractive man in the world to me.
Don’t torture yourself like this!
But what if we didn’t marry but just lived together?
Wouldn’t it be better to have him in secret than not have him at all?
The mere thought of having to hide my love made my stomach churn. I was affectionate and loving by nature. Hiding our relationship would mean suppressing the very essence of my soul. I’d grow to resent myself for giving up on my dream of a family.
You deserve to be loved fully, not just when no one is looking.
As if Holger could read my mind and agreed with me, he licked my ear.
In the loving and slightly silly voice I always used with my dogs, I muttered, “That’s right. I’m lovable, just like you are. I’m so happy we agree on that, my friend.”
