Page 79 of The Pacifist
“Yeah, she is.” I thought about it. “It’s going to help a lot that we saw how horrible Anne feels about what happened.”
“I would love to meet her one day.”
“That could be arranged. We’re having dinner with her tomorrow. Wanna come?”
“I wish, but it’s too far. Why don’t you bring her with you the next time you come?”
Talking with Mila had made me feel much better. “I really missed this. Talking with you about things.”
She looked down but smiled. “Me too.”
“You’re my best friend, North Star, you know that, right?”
Mila gave a small nod.
“I mean it. I love you and I know how lucky I am to have you in my life. These past weeks you’ve been quiet and it’s been hard for me. Don’t ever disappear, please.”
Mila blinked her eyes fast and sounded rushed when she spoke, “Jonah, I’m sorry, but my mom is calling for me. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
Her hologram faded and left me missing her already.
While talking with her, I’d received fourteen unanswered calls from family, friends, and colleagues on the council. Pearl had called too.
Getting up, I walked over to my bed. I wasn’t physically tired, but my mind was exhausted from the pressure I’d been under, and except for Mila, I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.
Sitting on my bed, I saw that the birds outside my window had flown away. A heavy feeling in my chest accompanied the question in my mind,Now what?
I’d given it my best today, but it would take a miracle to win them over. In two days, I would most likely be a former Council member with no plan for my future.
Every word of my speech ran through my mind. Juliana’s words about romantics being naïve and fragile bothered me. Mila was a romantic and I’d enjoyed reading the forbidden book too.
With a sudden burst of inspiration, I went to get the book and returned to make a recording of myself reading it to Mila. She had been engrossed in the book before she left and I thought she might appreciate listening to more of it. If nothing else it would give me a distraction from my own problems and the emptiness I felt inside.
“I told you not to come, it’s too dangerous.”
“I’m a risk taker.” He moved a little closer. “Why do you look so scared of me?”
“I’m not scared. It’s just that…” When I didn’t finish my sentence, he joked:
“That my handsomeness is overwhelming. I understand.”
“You’re much taller than I expected.”
“Funny you should say that, because so are you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, I imagined you the size of a child.”
“Why in the world would you think of me as a child?”
“I never thought of you as a child. Only that you would be small as one. It’s what I’ve always been told. That women on this side of the border are short like children.”
“Well, I suppose that depends how big your children are.” I leaned my head back to take in the full size of the large Nman in front of me. “I have no problem imagining that you were my size as a child, but then you’re male and I’m female.”
His smile grew. “I’m very aware of that fact.”
After reading two chapters, I closed the book and looked up on the ceiling with a sudden epiphany. My idea of a hugging booth could work. I just needed to make a few adjustments.
