Page 51 of Charlie
“Sure.” I smiled, but on the inside, I was tapping my foot wanting Charles to tell me what the hell had happened to him. His energy, which had been so light, playful, and loving this morning, was sad and fearful now.
“Can I see your room?” I tugged at his hand.
“Uh-huh.” He didn’t take my hand but walked out the door and I followed.
His room was on the fourth floor. The air was stuffy, so he opened a window. “This used to be the attic, but two years ago it was renovated and the roof was raised to allow six additional rooms up here.”
“Charles, what’s wrong?” I sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to me.
“Nothing.” He kept by the window and didn’t look at me.
“You know how you told me that you have a hard time picking up on people’s emotions. Well, I’m the opposite. I sense the smallest changes in people’s mood and right now, your body language is screaming to me that something’s wrong.”
His hands were folding and unfolding and he closed his eyes.
“A relationship is built on trust, so trust me, Charles. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
Charles rubbed his forehead and sank down on a chair in the corner of his small room. “I don’t know, maybe we’re rushing into things, Liv.”
My chest felt like I was wearing a bra two sizes too small. I’d been so sure that what we had meant something to Charles, but fifteen minutes alone with Conor and he was doubting everything. “What did Conor say to you?”
“I told you, it’s nothing.”
“Okay.” Feeling hurt from his change of mood, I got up and walked to the door.
“Where are you going?”
It took everything in me to remain calm and not beg him to come with me. “I’m just going to give you some space to think.”
“Liv.” His word hung in the air like a half-hearted protest, or maybe it was an apology.
I forced a small smile. “It’s probably healthy for us to get a chance to process everything that has happened since we met.”
Charles got up and raked his hand through his hair, his tics making him blink and wrinkle his nose up.
“Charles.” I moved close, got on my toes, and looked him deep in his eyes. “I don’t know what he said to you but it made you doubt yourself and us. You went from being loving to me one second to pulling back. I was scared something like this might happen because it’s happened to me before.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat when he swallowed hard. “It has?”
“Yes. Last time it was a dominant mother who didn’t think anyone was good enough for her son, but the dynamics are the same. I don’t like that Conor has this kind of influence over you. I need a man who can think for himself.”
“I can think for myself.”
I allowed his words to hang in the air for a moment and then I took a step back. “Then remember how you felt about us before he got into your head.”
Without a kiss goodbye or any more explanations, I walked away from him. It was hard not to turn around and look over my shoulder to see if he was still standing there.
I’d only reached the stairs when Charles came after me. “Let me walk you to the train station.”
“That’s not where I’m going.”
“No?”
“No. I’m headed to see Howth Castle. I’m a tourist, remember?”
“Do you want me to come?”
“No thanks. You just said that you worried we were rushing into things, so take some time alone.”
