Page 61 of Charlie
He looked at me like he was waiting for a bigger reaction, but when I still said nothing, he continued, “I was working at Solver when I first came to Ireland. My grandfather is old and he has been grooming me to take over ever since I graduated.”
“But you don’t want to?”
“I’m not sure. I felt suffocated for so long.” Charles looked up at the ceiling. “And lost. I felt so goddamn lost. Like I was locked into a position from the day I was born with no regard to whatIwanted. I happen to love international law, but I don’t recall there ever being a choice for me. My grandfather would preach about the sacrifices that we leaders must make for our employees. A lot of families depend on their salary to pay bills, feed their children, and send them to school. Being at the top might look glamorous from the outside, but it comes with a heavy burden of worries.” Charles turned a little toward me. “Conor was the first to tell me that I wasn’t locked down, and that I had the right to walk away. Did you know there was a king in England who chose to pass the crown to his younger brother when he felt suffocated? That empowered me to step away from the path I’d been on and take time to discover what I would want to do if it was entirely up to me.”
“You know that the king you talk about abdicated to be with the woman he loved, right?”
“Did he?” Charles frowned.
“Yes, she was American and already married twice, which made her unsuited to be queen.”
“Right, but what I got from it was that you always have a choice.”
“Hmm, do you know what I got from it?”
He turned his head to look me in the eye before I continued,
“That not even a crown, scepter, and a great kingdom can make a man happy if he’s not with the woman he loves.”
We smiled at each other and he kissed my nose. “Good point.”
“So, what you’re saying is that Conor suggested that our relationship wouldn’t last.”
Charles scrunched his nose with a round of tics. “That, and he also pointed out that you’re a distraction from the work I’ve been doing and that he didn’t think I was ready to take such a big step.”
“But you were ready yesterday morning. Remember, when I had doubts and you were the one staying strong and holding on to me?” I kept my tone serious.
“I know, but he has some valid points, Liv. I’m pretty sure I’ll be a terrible boyfriend. When I get pressured, my ability to communicate my emotions shuts down. You saw it yourself.”
“Yes, I saw it. That’s why I left. I had to trust that you’d recognize how special this thing between us is. How many times have you experienced something like what we share?”
Charles closed his eyes. “Never.”
“Me neither.”
We were silent for a moment before I asked, “Are all your doubts gone or will they come back the moment he raises his concerns again?”
A triangle formed between Charles’ eyebrows, but he didn’t answer.
“Can I be honest with you for a second? I don’t think Conor knows what we have. Don’t you see, Charles? He’s never had that with anyone. It sounds to me like he has sex but no real commitment with any of his women. You’re not like that. What works for him won’t necessarily work for you.”
Charles lifted a hand to his forehead and his eyes went back to the ceiling. “Conor might not follow the norms of society, but that’s because he sees through the conventions and limitations that are put upon us. If you knew him better, you’d know he’s a genius and that getting to be one of his insiders is a huge privilege.”
I wanted to scream at him:Do you hear yourself?but this was Charles’ reality and for me to help him see the truth about the charlatan whose influence he was under, I had to tread carefully.
“What does him being a genius have to do with commitment? He has children with Ciara but made sure to point out to me that he’s not married. All I’m saying is that he doesn’t have to agree with our definition of a relationship. Quite frankly I’m only interested in two opinions and that would be yours and mine.” I pointed to his chest.
Sucking in a breath, Charles nodded. “You’re right. He always said that I shouldn’t limit myself and that I should reach for the stars. That’s what being with you feels like.”
“Right back at ya.” I kissed him and licked his upper lip. I should leave well enough alone, but with everything I’d learned about Conor Bricks this morning, I couldn’t help myself. “It seems odd, though.” Rolling out of bed, I walked to the bathroom. This time, I did it naked for one major reason; I wanted Charles to see that I felt bonded to him and that our relationship had moved to the next level. He had asked me to keep my clothes off yesterday morning when I needed to use the bathroom, but I hadn’t been ready at that time.
After what Kit had told me today, I would have walked naked through the street to get Charles out of Conor’s claws.
“What is odd?”
“Him telling you to dream big and reach for the stars. But then when you do it, he makes you doubt it. Seems strange to me.” I strategically closed the door in that moment, allowing my words to linger behind me.
When I came back out, Charles was getting dressed.
