Page 38 of Atlas
I raised an eyebrow with a silent expression saying,What do you think?
“Well, for what it’s worth, you’re the nicest boss I’ve ever had.” She stood up from the chair, and my large t-shirt covered halfway down her thighs. A disturbing image of pulling it off her, turning her around, and pushing her down over the table to fuck her, made me take a step back with a frown.
“Sorry, you must think I’m a brown-nose, but I’m just very grateful to you for yesterday, and for giving me a place to hide for a while.”
“It’s fine. Make the list of what you need from your house. There’s paper in the drawer under the coffee machine.”
Walking into my bathroom, I closed the door and exhaled with a loud “whoosh” sound before looking into the mirror.
Get yourself under fucking control.
What the hell is it about Jolene that brings out this monstrous side in you?
Another round of images of my dominating her and pushing her down on her knees in front of me made me stagger to the sink and splash water on my face.
I’m nothing like him. I treat women with kindness and dignity.
In a rough movement, I pulled a hand towel from its holder and rubbed my face as if I could peel away the layers of hereditary ugliness inside me.
It’s okay. As long as she can’t read your thoughts, she won’t know about the wolf.
Usually, I could suppress the dark part that lived inside me. The wolf was like a separate entity driven by basic sexual needs and a predatory lust to control and inflict pain on women.
I pressed the towel harder against my eyes, but the images of all the things he wanted me to do to Jolene wouldn’t disappear. He wanted me to see if she had panties on. To let my hands slide up her thighs and feel for myself. To dry away the smudge of orange face paint from her face and suck on her lips a little. But most of all, he wanted her to surrender to me and let me fuck her every way I pleased.
Disturbed by my dark psyche, I stayed on my bed, working on my tablet until I heard a knock on my door.
“Yes?”
The door opened, and Jolene stood in her clothes from yesterday with a piece of paper in her hand.
“I wrote a list.” When she stepped inside my bedroom and stopped by my bed, I closed down my tablet and kept my distance by moving to the other side.
She shouldn’t be in my bedroom when I was still struggling to suppress the urges of the wolf inside me.
“Ehm, great. Let me see it.”
We stood on opposite sides of the bed when I reached my hand out to take the list.
“I thought that maybe I could go out grocery shopping while you pick up my things. I’m not a great cook by any means, but I make a great chicken pot-pie.”
“That sounds wonderful, but I might have to work late tonight.”
“Oh, that’s okay. Then there will be pie left-overs when you get back.” She scratched her underarm a little. “Unless…”
“Yes?”
“I’m sensing that you’re uncomfortable and want distance from me. Maybe you thought about it and changed your mind?” The way she ended her sentence by raising her tone made it sound like it was a question. If Lumi had been here, she would have pointed out that technically, it wasn’t, but I was too busy for that with my mind racing. Even with Jolene standing in her clothes from yesterday with her mascara a little smeared, I wanted her.
It made no sense, and I couldn’t act on it, or tell her. Maybe it was better if I took her to a hotel or Charles’ place. His apartment had doormen, and she would be safe there. I’m sure if I explained the situation, he would be happy to let her stay in his apartment.
“Atlas?”
“Yes?”
“What’s going on? You’re quiet, and I can see your thoughts spinning a mile a minute. Would you like me to stay somewhere else? Maybe I can ask Diane if I can sleep on her sofa until we know Niklavs is still in California.”
“No!” It flew out of me. “It’s not that I don’t want you here, it’s just that…” I couldn’t think clearly with her in my bedroom. “Come on.”
